My personal trainer completely lost the plot tonight. I think she mixed up her workout plans and had me confused with either The Incredible Hulk or The Thing from The Fantastic Four.
After some lengthy discussions about her state of mind, we proceeded, in a disorderly fashion, to pile on more weights that I had even thought possible, let alone sensible.
First, the Squat. This was surprisingly OK after removing 50kg from the first attempted weight that I couldn't even raise off the rack. What remained was still 50kg more than I had previously lifted, which caused my legs to resonating markedly. "Good, that's really great." comes the positive encouragement from my trainer. I briefly lost focus due to my right eyeball momentarily popping out and bouncing off my eyelashes.
Next, the Deadlift. It was pitiful. I only managed 10kg more than my previous best. And multiple attempts proved that my knees are too big and get in the way.
Moving swiftly on to the finale, the Bench Press. I was at a disadvantage, not having performed this in over a month, but I happily managed 5kg more than my previous best.
According to The Aasgaard Company, 2006, my performance rates as follows:
Squat: Intermediate. Obviously, my quads are progressing nicely.
Dead lift: Untrained to Novice. Obviously, my hamstrings are not.
Bench press: Untrained to Novice. Apparently I still have man boobs.
The problem is that "Untrained" in the above context represents the minimum level of strength required to maintain a reasonable quality of life in a sedentary individual.
Oh dear.
Every now and again, it's useful to go through a grounding experience. This was more like a kick in the teeth, though. Thank you Assguard.
Nuts and a tuna salad are my only comfort this evening.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
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7 comments:
according to that assbo thing my power clean with one dumbell of 10kg is less than pitiful.
and that was 4kg more than usual.
balancing up the weaker side is more important, just ask anyone with a herniated lumbar disc.
are these maximum one off lifts or repeated like in a set?
I'm assuming these are one time glory lifts, especially up at the Elite end. But she forced me to do 4 sets of 10 reps of 125kg on the Squats.
It could be a sexual thing ?
She's happily married.
"Happily"
Exactly!
She also reads this and may still be optimistic that meaningful, long term relationships between men and women are possible.
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