Landmark 1

I had a broad smile on my face when the scales displayed I have lost 1 stone (14 lbs / 6.4 kg).

Today also sees the arrival of my very own 65cm gym ball complete with DVD. Thank you eBay.

Feel good factor

I'd forgotten all about endorphins. They really work! The most noticeable side-effect now (after the enhanced taste sensations) is that I'm no longer pissed off most of the time. I can't say I'm jumping for joy yet, but there is a noticeable shift away from the negative.

Plus, my belt is one notch tighter. It took 10 minutes on the treadmill (fast walking pace) before I broke into a sweat today. When I first began a few weeks ago, I was on the brink of heart failure within 20 seconds. What will 6 months of this bring? See - positivity is creeping in.

All the heavyweight machines are proving to be "enjoyable". But I have encountered a strange kind of evil. One that is becoming obsessive.

The most innocuous of equipment, the 65cm ball.

It happened during my first session of stomach crunches. The phenomenon that ensued must have looked something akin to a fathomous creature from the deep being hauled onto a dry dock. It was extremely dramatic and I'm thankful that I remain in one piece. Even before the first crunch, somewhere around the time my brain heard the "how to" instructions, my stomach muscles began to realise that the game was up. No longer were they to be used solely to hold in the bloated aftermath of a Chinese takeaway.

Crunch ONE: My stomach began trembling before I'd even lifted 10cm off the ball.
Crunch TWO: The trembling very, very rapidly became shaking.
Crunch THREE: The shaking, which was becoming a matter of concern, deteriorated into rapid vibration.
Crunch FOUR: I could barely see by now. I felt like my stomach was on the receiving end of this.
Crunch FIVE: The vibrations spread outwards from my stomach, travelled up to my chin and were now causing my eyeballs to jiggle loosely inside my head.

"Okay, half way now, just 5 more" Kristy motivated.

"Half way! Only half *&$£"&* way!". Another 5 and I would surely be crippled for life.

I swear if you had hooked up my belly to a wave machine I could have fed the national grid.

The same effect is still reproduced now, even after 4 attempts. But I've concluded that 65cm gym balls are not only for girls and I've bought one for "private" use. Yes, it's disturbingly enjoyable.

Food, glorious food

I could go on and on about what I did during today's training session, but I'll skip right to the end when Kristy suggested I rub myself with Bio Oil to help reduce my stretch-marked belly and saggy man breasts as I lose weight.

Of course, all I heard was a beautiful lady talking about "rubbing oil on breasts" and I immediately had to lie face down and pretend to do some press ups while I regained a semblance of control.

The single most noticeable result from the weight loss efforts to date is, in actual fact, a rather disturbing paradox. There has been a startling awakening of my taste buds. I ate the most beautiful lunch I've ever had today, straight after I returned from training.

On a slightly toasted Tiger roll (seaseme oil drizzled on the top during baking) I had the following:
3 slices of unsmoked back bacon (with a little salty bite and the fat grilled until crispy),
Lurpak pretend butter on both sides of the roll,
A little Chinese lettuce leaf,
A single (vertically) sliced spring onion.

Weight loss so far is 11 lbs (5kg), but how long can this last when food tastes better than ever before?

Game on

It's been longer than I care to remember since a woman has got me sweating.

10 more thrusts, just 10 more. This time, like the last, my thighs were burning, but I actually got more enjoyment from today's first personal training session. Certainly there was a lot more positive encouragement.

It marks a bit of a mental turning point; the first and highest hurdle has been successfully jumped.

The burning sensation was swiftly replaced by a sense of acheivement, which optimistically lingers on. Or is that the Whisky?

Weight loss so far is 7 lbs (3kg), mainly from thinking before I eat (most of the time).

A stumble by the wayside

When I finally came to my senses and regained some control over my hands, I found myself staring at less than one quarter of a Big Mac. To be on the safe side, I shovelled it in my mouth so it could rejoin the currently missing three quarters which I can only presume was residing inside my Belly. I use a capital B, because it's ever so close to being a proper noun; a placename.

This has all happened before the first personal training session, so Kristy will have to drive me an extra 900 calories worth to compensate.

I wonder if the top Triathletes begin their training regime with a trip to McDonalds?

Doctor knows best

After a very stressful half hour, I have to drop everything and go the Doctor's to get my BP checked due to the frighteningly high level measured a few days ago.

142 over 85 means that the instructor is going to show me no mercy! I think Kristy needs a new machine.