Psssshhh. The bike tyre went flat in under 3 seconds.
I called The Editor so he could laugh at me for ignoring his advice regarding Kevlar bands.
Ring, ring, ring, "Puncture is it?". I think he'd started laughing before he even answered the phone, having already diagnosed the problem purely by the ring. Remarkable.
There followed a tentative 8km run back home, wearing cleated cycle shoes.
A year ago, I'd have been phoning a rescue service. Now I just get on with it.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Monday 22 December 2008
Wednesday 17 December 2008
No more Mrs Nice Girl
My personal trainer completely lost the plot tonight. I think she mixed up her workout plans and had me confused with either The Incredible Hulk or The Thing from The Fantastic Four.
After some lengthy discussions about her state of mind, we proceeded, in a disorderly fashion, to pile on more weights that I had even thought possible, let alone sensible.
First, the Squat. This was surprisingly OK after removing 50kg from the first attempted weight that I couldn't even raise off the rack. What remained was still 50kg more than I had previously lifted, which caused my legs to resonating markedly. "Good, that's really great." comes the positive encouragement from my trainer. I briefly lost focus due to my right eyeball momentarily popping out and bouncing off my eyelashes.
Next, the Deadlift. It was pitiful. I only managed 10kg more than my previous best. And multiple attempts proved that my knees are too big and get in the way.
Moving swiftly on to the finale, the Bench Press. I was at a disadvantage, not having performed this in over a month, but I happily managed 5kg more than my previous best.
According to The Aasgaard Company, 2006, my performance rates as follows:
Squat: Intermediate. Obviously, my quads are progressing nicely.
Dead lift: Untrained to Novice. Obviously, my hamstrings are not.
Bench press: Untrained to Novice. Apparently I still have man boobs.
The problem is that "Untrained" in the above context represents the minimum level of strength required to maintain a reasonable quality of life in a sedentary individual.
Oh dear.
Every now and again, it's useful to go through a grounding experience. This was more like a kick in the teeth, though. Thank you Assguard.
Nuts and a tuna salad are my only comfort this evening.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
After some lengthy discussions about her state of mind, we proceeded, in a disorderly fashion, to pile on more weights that I had even thought possible, let alone sensible.
First, the Squat. This was surprisingly OK after removing 50kg from the first attempted weight that I couldn't even raise off the rack. What remained was still 50kg more than I had previously lifted, which caused my legs to resonating markedly. "Good, that's really great." comes the positive encouragement from my trainer. I briefly lost focus due to my right eyeball momentarily popping out and bouncing off my eyelashes.
Next, the Deadlift. It was pitiful. I only managed 10kg more than my previous best. And multiple attempts proved that my knees are too big and get in the way.
Moving swiftly on to the finale, the Bench Press. I was at a disadvantage, not having performed this in over a month, but I happily managed 5kg more than my previous best.
According to The Aasgaard Company, 2006, my performance rates as follows:
Squat: Intermediate. Obviously, my quads are progressing nicely.
Dead lift: Untrained to Novice. Obviously, my hamstrings are not.
Bench press: Untrained to Novice. Apparently I still have man boobs.
The problem is that "Untrained" in the above context represents the minimum level of strength required to maintain a reasonable quality of life in a sedentary individual.
Oh dear.
Every now and again, it's useful to go through a grounding experience. This was more like a kick in the teeth, though. Thank you Assguard.
Nuts and a tuna salad are my only comfort this evening.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Tuesday 9 December 2008
Chaos theory
Chaos theory describes the behaviour of certain dynamical systems (systems whose states evolve with time) that are highly sensitive to small permutations in initial conditions. Tiny fluctuations of input values can lead to exponentially increasing variances of outcomes. To put it another way, one small cock up at the start can result in a complete and utter balls up later on.
"It's not cold enough to die" were the comforting words offered to me by The Editor as we decided if we should spend a December night here, on the east side of Loch Ericht; X marks the spot:
Two days later and I still haven't recovered feeling in the outer quarter of my left foot's big toe.
You'll see from the map that there are no hotels, B&Bs, camp sites, houses, roads, tracks, paths, or even animal life for many, many miles. And it's now 4pm in December; i.e. dark. It was either this, or risk going "over the top" as they called it in 1914, back over some hill that led to ?. Oh, and did I mention that we weren't carrying adequate equipment for such an event. It was only a stroke of laziness that meant a torch had remained in my rucksack from a previous outing.
This won't be happening again; eBay is going to take a battering over the next couple of weeks and I'll be carrying enough equipment to invade a small country, with leftovers to supply the SAS.
Had we actually had the section of map covering this area, we would have chosen not to walk towards Dalwhinnie along this route even in bright sunshine, let alone in near total darkness. In reality, had we not been focused on dealing with my lady issues, this wouldn't have happened in the first place. Mental note to self: wait until the car is in sight before opening up any cans of worms.
I actually found the episode perversely enjoyable, as it was a proper survivalist test of stamina. I now know that I can physically cope with an unprepared 6 and a half hour walk out to avoid potentially very serious consequences, although it would have been better conducted on a warm, sunny, summer's evening.
The other positive outcome is that I now appear to have developed calf muscles similar to those of an elephant and I am very good at contouring around a hillside that slopes upwards to my right, especially at night.
I have eaten chips and sausage rolls in celebration.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
"It's not cold enough to die" were the comforting words offered to me by The Editor as we decided if we should spend a December night here, on the east side of Loch Ericht; X marks the spot:
Two days later and I still haven't recovered feeling in the outer quarter of my left foot's big toe.
You'll see from the map that there are no hotels, B&Bs, camp sites, houses, roads, tracks, paths, or even animal life for many, many miles. And it's now 4pm in December; i.e. dark. It was either this, or risk going "over the top" as they called it in 1914, back over some hill that led to ?. Oh, and did I mention that we weren't carrying adequate equipment for such an event. It was only a stroke of laziness that meant a torch had remained in my rucksack from a previous outing.
This won't be happening again; eBay is going to take a battering over the next couple of weeks and I'll be carrying enough equipment to invade a small country, with leftovers to supply the SAS.
Had we actually had the section of map covering this area, we would have chosen not to walk towards Dalwhinnie along this route even in bright sunshine, let alone in near total darkness. In reality, had we not been focused on dealing with my lady issues, this wouldn't have happened in the first place. Mental note to self: wait until the car is in sight before opening up any cans of worms.
I actually found the episode perversely enjoyable, as it was a proper survivalist test of stamina. I now know that I can physically cope with an unprepared 6 and a half hour walk out to avoid potentially very serious consequences, although it would have been better conducted on a warm, sunny, summer's evening.
The other positive outcome is that I now appear to have developed calf muscles similar to those of an elephant and I am very good at contouring around a hillside that slopes upwards to my right, especially at night.
I have eaten chips and sausage rolls in celebration.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Monday 24 November 2008
Multi tasking
I attended Body Attack tonight. It's a high energy aerobics class with weights.
The high energy aerobics part of it was fine, i.e. not too embarrassing. Holding 2 kg in each hand whilst also performing high energy aerobics was simply too demanding for my brain and my movements degenerated to such an extent that I found myself actually standing still. It was like my muscles chose to have a sit down protest. Even the instructor couldn't really work out what was going wrong, so suggested that I don't use the weights until after a couple of sessions.
Unusually, the abundance of lycra didn't distract me from the task in hand, as I redirected my entire bloodflow system to my brain in an attempt to keep up with the rest of the class.
I shall return next week, when hopefully I will retain some muscle memory from tonight's efforts.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
The high energy aerobics part of it was fine, i.e. not too embarrassing. Holding 2 kg in each hand whilst also performing high energy aerobics was simply too demanding for my brain and my movements degenerated to such an extent that I found myself actually standing still. It was like my muscles chose to have a sit down protest. Even the instructor couldn't really work out what was going wrong, so suggested that I don't use the weights until after a couple of sessions.
Unusually, the abundance of lycra didn't distract me from the task in hand, as I redirected my entire bloodflow system to my brain in an attempt to keep up with the rest of the class.
I shall return next week, when hopefully I will retain some muscle memory from tonight's efforts.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Wednesday 19 November 2008
Gamekeeping
This has nothing to do with the delicious pheasant that was Sunday's dinner.
Did you know that your thumb ligaments make a loud cracking noise as they break? I can confirm that this noise was that sound.
The doctor tells me that the directional weakness and pain exhibited by my thumb is a clear indication of ligament damage and that it will take a considerable time to heal. Google informs me that the somewhat amusing colloquial name for this ailment is Gamekeeper's thumb.
I have another 5 or so months to invent a better way to remove my wetsuit; one that doesn't utilize the thumb.
On a brighter note, I have actually identified a benefit of last weekend's outrageous carb outburst. As soon as I reduce my carb intake, the podgy feeling in my belly disappears and my internals feel like they are back to normal. I wonder how long it will take to forget / ignore that important rediscovery.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
Did you know that your thumb ligaments make a loud cracking noise as they break? I can confirm that this noise was that sound.
The doctor tells me that the directional weakness and pain exhibited by my thumb is a clear indication of ligament damage and that it will take a considerable time to heal. Google informs me that the somewhat amusing colloquial name for this ailment is Gamekeeper's thumb.
I have another 5 or so months to invent a better way to remove my wetsuit; one that doesn't utilize the thumb.
On a brighter note, I have actually identified a benefit of last weekend's outrageous carb outburst. As soon as I reduce my carb intake, the podgy feeling in my belly disappears and my internals feel like they are back to normal. I wonder how long it will take to forget / ignore that important rediscovery.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
Tuesday 18 November 2008
Half Marathon insanity
A friend came to visit on Friday night, which of course was call for celebration; alcohol related celebration. She remained and we ate especially spicy chicken wings with The Editor and his wife on Saturday evening, with further mild alcoholic celebration.
There's no way to say if it affected my performance, but I certainly wasn't aware of any negative side effects. Unlike The Editor, who it turns out, is Chicken Intolerant. It caused a record number of sit down visits to the bathroom on race day. And that's on top of the stand up problems currently being exhibited. The Half Marathon proved to be much like running the gauntlet for him, passing Sunday morning gardeners watering their plants and washing their cars. Notable mention should also be made that a large section of the idyllic route through the trees meandered beside the briskly flowing river and gentle waterfalls. I don't know how he held it in.
As it turns out, his bowel AND mental states were stronger than mine, winning both the race and holding his sanity for the duration. I on the other hand developed a form of mental tourettes after 6 miles, presumably due to a lack of blood to the brain. I found myself chastising anyone blocking out the beautiful sound of nature via the medium of iPod. And also talking aloud some thoughts that should really have not been overheard by other competitors around me. You need some form of motivation and entertainment to complete this distance, however. Perhaps an iPod might actually cure me in that respect.
Enjoying my house guest's company for another evening, we heartily celebrated the completion of Sunday's event with a dinner of Pheasant and chips. That was after the pub lunch and mid afternoon celebratory Pringles and Empire biscuits. The plan for a lovely healthy dinner was completely overshadowed by my vampiric desire for carb replenishment. When I finally ended the consumption for the day I even had to pull out the hoover to tidy the aftermath, such is the crumbly nature of processed carbs. Well, that and a drunken attempt to better the current world record for cracker eating. Again.
36 hours later, the tender ache of exerted gluts and quads lingers on. It'll be another 36 hours before the weekend's other excess disappear too.
On a more informative note, the finish line was crossed in 1 hour and 44 minutes. A comfortable pace was maintained throughout, showing considerable scope for improving that time. Interestingly, if the previous 10k event's speedy pace was directly extrapolated, the finish would have been just over 1 hour and 39 minutes, which does not account for the inevitible fatigue. So this result was very satisfactory indeed.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
There's no way to say if it affected my performance, but I certainly wasn't aware of any negative side effects. Unlike The Editor, who it turns out, is Chicken Intolerant. It caused a record number of sit down visits to the bathroom on race day. And that's on top of the stand up problems currently being exhibited. The Half Marathon proved to be much like running the gauntlet for him, passing Sunday morning gardeners watering their plants and washing their cars. Notable mention should also be made that a large section of the idyllic route through the trees meandered beside the briskly flowing river and gentle waterfalls. I don't know how he held it in.
As it turns out, his bowel AND mental states were stronger than mine, winning both the race and holding his sanity for the duration. I on the other hand developed a form of mental tourettes after 6 miles, presumably due to a lack of blood to the brain. I found myself chastising anyone blocking out the beautiful sound of nature via the medium of iPod. And also talking aloud some thoughts that should really have not been overheard by other competitors around me. You need some form of motivation and entertainment to complete this distance, however. Perhaps an iPod might actually cure me in that respect.
Enjoying my house guest's company for another evening, we heartily celebrated the completion of Sunday's event with a dinner of Pheasant and chips. That was after the pub lunch and mid afternoon celebratory Pringles and Empire biscuits. The plan for a lovely healthy dinner was completely overshadowed by my vampiric desire for carb replenishment. When I finally ended the consumption for the day I even had to pull out the hoover to tidy the aftermath, such is the crumbly nature of processed carbs. Well, that and a drunken attempt to better the current world record for cracker eating. Again.
36 hours later, the tender ache of exerted gluts and quads lingers on. It'll be another 36 hours before the weekend's other excess disappear too.
On a more informative note, the finish line was crossed in 1 hour and 44 minutes. A comfortable pace was maintained throughout, showing considerable scope for improving that time. Interestingly, if the previous 10k event's speedy pace was directly extrapolated, the finish would have been just over 1 hour and 39 minutes, which does not account for the inevitible fatigue. So this result was very satisfactory indeed.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
Tuesday 11 November 2008
Klingon veins
Vanity got the better of me tonight.
Bouyed by the surprisingly good result after stepping on the scales and the fact that the gym was populated entirely by attractive women, I went for the big red weights on the bench press, instead of the normal black iron weights. I'm still unclear as to why the male phyche encourages this type of behaviour, knowing full well that any subsequent act is more likely to backfire than actually impress anybody. The generally expected outcome was acheived; absolutely no notice was taken by anyone in the vicinity, excepting the positive encouragement from my PT stalwart.
But it was pointed out to me that the increased effort level had an unexpected side effect of greatly enlarging a pulsating vein in my forehead. To see this in action proved very difficult, since it disappears as quickly as it appears. I attempted a couple of quick runs to the mirror, without success. In the end, I found a contorted position during the "one armed row" exercise that allowed me to view the anomoly directly in the mirror.
If Michael Dorn ever gets tired of playing Worf in Star Trek, I have an exciting addition that I can list on my CV.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Bouyed by the surprisingly good result after stepping on the scales and the fact that the gym was populated entirely by attractive women, I went for the big red weights on the bench press, instead of the normal black iron weights. I'm still unclear as to why the male phyche encourages this type of behaviour, knowing full well that any subsequent act is more likely to backfire than actually impress anybody. The generally expected outcome was acheived; absolutely no notice was taken by anyone in the vicinity, excepting the positive encouragement from my PT stalwart.
But it was pointed out to me that the increased effort level had an unexpected side effect of greatly enlarging a pulsating vein in my forehead. To see this in action proved very difficult, since it disappears as quickly as it appears. I attempted a couple of quick runs to the mirror, without success. In the end, I found a contorted position during the "one armed row" exercise that allowed me to view the anomoly directly in the mirror.
If Michael Dorn ever gets tired of playing Worf in Star Trek, I have an exciting addition that I can list on my CV.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Monday 10 November 2008
Heel, toe
4 hours and 10 minutes it took The Editor and I to tag team the 41.6 km to our good friend's house for an indulgent dinner of wine, steak, chicken wings and excessive (and nearly continual) carbohydrate replenishment.
There were no shortage of sore joints and muscle pains to examine and compare during the post dinner analysis. Early signs of competitiveness entering even this area of discussion were swiftly nipped in the bud!
Knee pain, muscle pain and foot pain were common between us, with some uniquely aching Achilles tendons on my part. But nothing too severe, and nothing unexpected. I firmly believed that I would arise the next morning, eat (another) bowl of carbs and be ready for the day ahead.
But I didn't take into account that my bladder would be unable to store the processed volume of liquid consumed the night before until a sensible time of the morning. Instead I awoke before sunrise to relieve a pressing engagement. On the return, bleary eyed journey to my nest, I prematurely thought I had reached the bottom step of the staircase and stepped out into space.
Unfortunately, space is a non supporting structure that soon gives way to usually hard objects. I thumped to the ground, landing heel first on the very edge of the unexpected next step. Only due to prior parachute training was I able to limit further injury by rolling forward and delicately bringing my body to rest at the doorway. Well, that's what I thought was happening in my mind; in reality I slowly untangled my crumpled mass and hopped back to bed, wishing this to have been part of an unpleasant dream.
But my foot is still sore. Will my fitness aid a swift recovery? Next weekend's half marathon is likely to introduce pain into the various mix of endurance tests.
No weight recorded until the after effects of the carbohydrate replenishment have passed.
There were no shortage of sore joints and muscle pains to examine and compare during the post dinner analysis. Early signs of competitiveness entering even this area of discussion were swiftly nipped in the bud!
Knee pain, muscle pain and foot pain were common between us, with some uniquely aching Achilles tendons on my part. But nothing too severe, and nothing unexpected. I firmly believed that I would arise the next morning, eat (another) bowl of carbs and be ready for the day ahead.
But I didn't take into account that my bladder would be unable to store the processed volume of liquid consumed the night before until a sensible time of the morning. Instead I awoke before sunrise to relieve a pressing engagement. On the return, bleary eyed journey to my nest, I prematurely thought I had reached the bottom step of the staircase and stepped out into space.
Unfortunately, space is a non supporting structure that soon gives way to usually hard objects. I thumped to the ground, landing heel first on the very edge of the unexpected next step. Only due to prior parachute training was I able to limit further injury by rolling forward and delicately bringing my body to rest at the doorway. Well, that's what I thought was happening in my mind; in reality I slowly untangled my crumpled mass and hopped back to bed, wishing this to have been part of an unpleasant dream.
But my foot is still sore. Will my fitness aid a swift recovery? Next weekend's half marathon is likely to introduce pain into the various mix of endurance tests.
No weight recorded until the after effects of the carbohydrate replenishment have passed.
Thursday 6 November 2008
Morals and willpower
The Editor and I were discussing his theory of Natural Weakness earlier tonight.
It turns out that there are other "Weakness" theories that explain various rampant behaviours throughout society. The main culprit being "Moral Weakness".
I prefer to avoid all of that, focusing on my own insular weakness, which I have this week identified as "Carb Weakness". But is this defined as the effect resulting from a lack of carbs, or rather a penchant for carbs?
Which raises the similarly dichotomous question of which side of the coin lies "Moral Weakness"? Does it depend on the way you toss it?
Happily, there is no doubt about this weekend's activities. There will be at least a 40km human powered expedition; the only question surrounds which type of rubber will be used (bicycle tyre or shoe tread).
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
It turns out that there are other "Weakness" theories that explain various rampant behaviours throughout society. The main culprit being "Moral Weakness".
I prefer to avoid all of that, focusing on my own insular weakness, which I have this week identified as "Carb Weakness". But is this defined as the effect resulting from a lack of carbs, or rather a penchant for carbs?
Which raises the similarly dichotomous question of which side of the coin lies "Moral Weakness"? Does it depend on the way you toss it?
Happily, there is no doubt about this weekend's activities. There will be at least a 40km human powered expedition; the only question surrounds which type of rubber will be used (bicycle tyre or shoe tread).
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Wednesday 5 November 2008
Vibration on high
I attempted some core strengthening on the gym's new Power Plate machine tonight. I had previously been demonstrated some stretching techniques, which proved interesting, novel and effective, so I was keen to attempt some heavily targeted (and turbo charged) muscle training.
The idea of the Power Plate is that you perform exercises on a vibrating platform to get the muscles working overtime, in such a way that the standard non-vibrational technique never could.
But that's assuming that you program the correct settings.
I felt immediately sick. My uvula launched into a resonance so fearsome that I could virtually taste the blood dripping from it; my ears entered the early stages of tinnitus and the liquid inside my eyeballs began to fizz. Needless to say, I was a little dizzy after the first one legged plank. I was dizzier after the next opposite one legged plank and I was feeling pretty distraught after the subsequent sideways plank.
Thank goodness my trainer pointed out at this stage that the amplitude was set on High instead of Low. What a difference a single press of a button can make.
I am pleased that Mr Obama has taken over the reigns of THAT button from Mr Bush.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
The idea of the Power Plate is that you perform exercises on a vibrating platform to get the muscles working overtime, in such a way that the standard non-vibrational technique never could.
But that's assuming that you program the correct settings.
I felt immediately sick. My uvula launched into a resonance so fearsome that I could virtually taste the blood dripping from it; my ears entered the early stages of tinnitus and the liquid inside my eyeballs began to fizz. Needless to say, I was a little dizzy after the first one legged plank. I was dizzier after the next opposite one legged plank and I was feeling pretty distraught after the subsequent sideways plank.
Thank goodness my trainer pointed out at this stage that the amplitude was set on High instead of Low. What a difference a single press of a button can make.
I am pleased that Mr Obama has taken over the reigns of THAT button from Mr Bush.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Monday 3 November 2008
Footprints in the snow
The weather forecast was spot on last weekend. Glorious sunny weather with lingering snow on high ground. Perfect for some cross country Munro running! So, for once, my plans for this autumnal Sunday came to fruition.
It's hard, exceptionally hard, to describe just how beautiful the panorama was from the top of Carn Gorm. Not a shortbread tin or chocolate box in the land carries an image so pristine and splendid. I doubt if even Monet could truly have done justice to the beauty of Glen Lyon, Loch Tay and Kenmore on this day. Utterly breathtaking. The myriad of deep, autumnal hues, randomly knitted within the areas of resilient Caledonian Pine forests that are themselves patchworked along the heather clad glen, beautifully contrasting below the pristine snow capped hilltops. The sight would have reduced any normal man to tears. But I couldn't hang about long enough - this was a training run!
And no need to worry about dodgy tendons up here; the snow was just deep enough to give impact cushioning, but still stiff enough to allow quick travel across the surface. In fact, this took some getting used to. The last time I waded through snow, my footprints created holes significantly deeper than anyone else. It took a few moments to figure out why today's footprints were shallower than their historical neighbours. Each step I expected to sink in hard, but here I was, bounding along, almost uninhibited by the white terrain. Winter hill running is my new favourite hobby, but one which will be hard to realise again, considering the chances of a repeat of such glorious conditions.
I no longer wish for a warm climate, given this experience, just some deeply treaded shoes.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
It's hard, exceptionally hard, to describe just how beautiful the panorama was from the top of Carn Gorm. Not a shortbread tin or chocolate box in the land carries an image so pristine and splendid. I doubt if even Monet could truly have done justice to the beauty of Glen Lyon, Loch Tay and Kenmore on this day. Utterly breathtaking. The myriad of deep, autumnal hues, randomly knitted within the areas of resilient Caledonian Pine forests that are themselves patchworked along the heather clad glen, beautifully contrasting below the pristine snow capped hilltops. The sight would have reduced any normal man to tears. But I couldn't hang about long enough - this was a training run!
And no need to worry about dodgy tendons up here; the snow was just deep enough to give impact cushioning, but still stiff enough to allow quick travel across the surface. In fact, this took some getting used to. The last time I waded through snow, my footprints created holes significantly deeper than anyone else. It took a few moments to figure out why today's footprints were shallower than their historical neighbours. Each step I expected to sink in hard, but here I was, bounding along, almost uninhibited by the white terrain. Winter hill running is my new favourite hobby, but one which will be hard to realise again, considering the chances of a repeat of such glorious conditions.
I no longer wish for a warm climate, given this experience, just some deeply treaded shoes.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Wednesday 29 October 2008
Man noises
There has been a significant change of focus in my personal training sessions. I'm doing so much cardio elsewhere that I'm now concentrating on building muscle during my PT session. This includes a hefty doze of squats, dead lifts and bench presses on a machine known as "The Rack".
Yesterday saw me graduating from girlie little weights that even the ladies were sniggering about, up to proper man sized weights. The most noticeable change, apart for the obvious effort involved, was the now immensely satisfying clunking noises coming from my end of the gym. It used to be little clinks and tinny bumps that barely raised an eyebrow. Now it's herculean thumping and metallic clanging that would impress any nearby lady, if they were so inclined.
I demonstrated my new found abilities to one of the gym staff by bench pressing 55kg. It turns out he used to bench press 90kg and thinks that I'm a bit over excitable.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
And the weight gain is definitely not from increased muscle mass. A quick burst of The Complete Scarsdale Medical Diet has begun to offset last week's crisps and scones.
Yesterday saw me graduating from girlie little weights that even the ladies were sniggering about, up to proper man sized weights. The most noticeable change, apart for the obvious effort involved, was the now immensely satisfying clunking noises coming from my end of the gym. It used to be little clinks and tinny bumps that barely raised an eyebrow. Now it's herculean thumping and metallic clanging that would impress any nearby lady, if they were so inclined.
I demonstrated my new found abilities to one of the gym staff by bench pressing 55kg. It turns out he used to bench press 90kg and thinks that I'm a bit over excitable.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
And the weight gain is definitely not from increased muscle mass. A quick burst of The Complete Scarsdale Medical Diet has begun to offset last week's crisps and scones.
Sunday 26 October 2008
The open road
Today I buried my long standing hatred of road bikes and purchased a second hand Specialized Allez Epic with carbon fibre frame. A few minor adjustments later and I was off for a quick cruise to check out the handling.
Quite literally, sailing along, as I found out. I nearly got blown off by the crosswind when I turned a 90 degree left hander off the main road so I could safely cross retrace my route home. Bugger. I knew it was going to be a long way back, cycling directly into a 25 miles per hour head wind.
Cycling with the wind at your back is great fun. Cycling directly into a head wind is not. I was pedalling like billy-oh, giving it everything and rarely stepping out of second gear. Had it been even a tiny bit worse, tears would have come in to play.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Wednesday 22 October 2008
Race pace
Participating in a race has noticeable physiological and psychological effects.
The initial excitement in the lead up to the race is quickly surpassed by nerves as you arrive at the venue, which ensures a fully relieved bladder before the start. Since I don't take these events particularly seriously, it's interesting that this laxative effect arises at all.
And when the hooter goes, you run faster than during training. I mean much faster. It could be that I didn't want to lose the bet with The Editor and shell out a pound for every minute I was behind, but there has to be something deeper than avoiding having to pay for a couple of helpings of post-race tea and scones.
I crossed the 10km (cross country!) line in about 46 minutes 50 or 55 seconds. I didn't get a note of the actual time as my mind was elsewhere, thinking about my impending free lunch. However, I was shortly ahead of The Editor's time of 47 minutes 1 second. Since that moment, my nemesis is now afraid of being nicknamed "Eddie the Editor", after Britain's last ski jumper, Mr Edwards. To avoid this happening, we had a near immediate post race video analysis session in the industrial estate to examine running styles, both shoed and barefoot, much to the amusement of the local teenagers having their first driving lessons.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
The initial excitement in the lead up to the race is quickly surpassed by nerves as you arrive at the venue, which ensures a fully relieved bladder before the start. Since I don't take these events particularly seriously, it's interesting that this laxative effect arises at all.
And when the hooter goes, you run faster than during training. I mean much faster. It could be that I didn't want to lose the bet with The Editor and shell out a pound for every minute I was behind, but there has to be something deeper than avoiding having to pay for a couple of helpings of post-race tea and scones.
I crossed the 10km (cross country!) line in about 46 minutes 50 or 55 seconds. I didn't get a note of the actual time as my mind was elsewhere, thinking about my impending free lunch. However, I was shortly ahead of The Editor's time of 47 minutes 1 second. Since that moment, my nemesis is now afraid of being nicknamed "Eddie the Editor", after Britain's last ski jumper, Mr Edwards. To avoid this happening, we had a near immediate post race video analysis session in the industrial estate to examine running styles, both shoed and barefoot, much to the amusement of the local teenagers having their first driving lessons.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Thursday 16 October 2008
Buzz Lightyear's shoes
I purchased a new pair of SPD enabled cycling shoes for the last Duathlon. They have Velcro straps for a quick entry/exit to the shoe, nice stiff plastic soles and they are delightfully silver and shinny. I have been told on more than one occasion, by more than one person, that they look like Buzz Lightyear's shoes. I could take that comment in either of two ways, but I choose to hear the positive version.
Last night I was caught in torrential rain. To my dismay, my feet became very cold and very, very wet almost instantly. I nearly telephoned my brother in Australia there and then, to request that he prepares a room for me to live in. It turns out that the inside of the sole has structural ribs for reinforcement, much like the hull of a ship has partitions to stop any leaked water rolling around too much. The added bonus is that puddles form inside the shoes and said puddles cunningly remain there. Since my socks were already saturated and the sole of the foot isn't very absorbent, my feet stayed nice and wet even after the rain stopped.
Despite the frantic pedal home, my weight has creeped up ever so slightly. But I think this is actually to do with gaining some muscle from the increased training regime as opposed to consistent and prolonged over-feeding on chocolate.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Last night I was caught in torrential rain. To my dismay, my feet became very cold and very, very wet almost instantly. I nearly telephoned my brother in Australia there and then, to request that he prepares a room for me to live in. It turns out that the inside of the sole has structural ribs for reinforcement, much like the hull of a ship has partitions to stop any leaked water rolling around too much. The added bonus is that puddles form inside the shoes and said puddles cunningly remain there. Since my socks were already saturated and the sole of the foot isn't very absorbent, my feet stayed nice and wet even after the rain stopped.
Despite the frantic pedal home, my weight has creeped up ever so slightly. But I think this is actually to do with gaining some muscle from the increased training regime as opposed to consistent and prolonged over-feeding on chocolate.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Monday 13 October 2008
How to run
You would think it was easy. Just put one leg in front of the other and repeat quickly.
I did that and ended up with some tendon issues in various parts of my leg. The best explanation I've seen so far was by a German on YouTube.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
I did that and ended up with some tendon issues in various parts of my leg. The best explanation I've seen so far was by a German on YouTube.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Sunday 12 October 2008
The return of the wetsuit
Today I saw a man nearly die from exposure.
My Orca S2 wetsuit needs to be returned before the end of October to benefit from the summer rental bargain deal of £50. So to maximize its pound per mile, the wetsuit was destined for one last hurrah; a final test of long distance, open water swimming. Erring on the side of safety, it would not be sensible to throw one's self in a loch alone, so The Editor, the only one crazy enough to contemplate the task, duly agreed to the swim.
If Rolf Harris himself had attached The Editor to his wobble board and vibrated it as ferociously as humanly possible, he would still not have achieved even half the frequency, nor amplitude, of pre-hypothermic shivering state he found himself in climbing out of Loch Earn after 3.5km of cold swimming. Both of us were incapable of standing up to exit the loch for quite some time after reaching the shore. In fact, both of us fell over on the first attempt of getting out. Some hilarity ensued regarding the inability of either of us, due to said shivering, to use the car key to open the door, but this was fueled more by our delirious state than humour. In fact, I couldn't even speak properly, my moving face parts having partially frozen. The Editor's repeated statement of "I'll be alright in a minute" was terribly unconvincing.
The deliriousness lasted for some time judging by the inability to focus on driving and also by my overly keen thumb based manoeuvre to remove my wetsuit. Wishing myself into dry clothes as quickly as possible, I used my thumb as a lever to prise the wetsuit over my heel. I didn't feel any immediate pain, as my extremities felt like they had been cryogenically preserved, but I did hear a loud crack followed by laughter. Unfortunately, it was my own laughter, which can only mean that I'd dipped into a manic state.
A nice cup of tea later and discussions began regarding the water temperature. The consensus being that it was very cold indeed. An agreement to avoid future open water swimming in October was also reached.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
My Orca S2 wetsuit needs to be returned before the end of October to benefit from the summer rental bargain deal of £50. So to maximize its pound per mile, the wetsuit was destined for one last hurrah; a final test of long distance, open water swimming. Erring on the side of safety, it would not be sensible to throw one's self in a loch alone, so The Editor, the only one crazy enough to contemplate the task, duly agreed to the swim.
If Rolf Harris himself had attached The Editor to his wobble board and vibrated it as ferociously as humanly possible, he would still not have achieved even half the frequency, nor amplitude, of pre-hypothermic shivering state he found himself in climbing out of Loch Earn after 3.5km of cold swimming. Both of us were incapable of standing up to exit the loch for quite some time after reaching the shore. In fact, both of us fell over on the first attempt of getting out. Some hilarity ensued regarding the inability of either of us, due to said shivering, to use the car key to open the door, but this was fueled more by our delirious state than humour. In fact, I couldn't even speak properly, my moving face parts having partially frozen. The Editor's repeated statement of "I'll be alright in a minute" was terribly unconvincing.
The deliriousness lasted for some time judging by the inability to focus on driving and also by my overly keen thumb based manoeuvre to remove my wetsuit. Wishing myself into dry clothes as quickly as possible, I used my thumb as a lever to prise the wetsuit over my heel. I didn't feel any immediate pain, as my extremities felt like they had been cryogenically preserved, but I did hear a loud crack followed by laughter. Unfortunately, it was my own laughter, which can only mean that I'd dipped into a manic state.
A nice cup of tea later and discussions began regarding the water temperature. The consensus being that it was very cold indeed. An agreement to avoid future open water swimming in October was also reached.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Saturday 11 October 2008
5k warm up
Having been on two separate 5km runs this week with two different friends, I have discovered two interesting things.
Firstly, running is best as a solitary sport. Slowing down for others diminishes the training aspect of the run. Speeding up to remove the guilt of slowing the other down moves the body into the anaerobic zone, which is unsustainable and not suited to endurance training.
Secondly, 5km runs are no longer enough. Neither are 25km mountain bike rides or 2km swims. Not even if performed all in the same day.
I will have to adjust the jacuzzi to training time ratio in favour of training time!
And to cap it all off, I've spent most of this week eating. I mean really eating. Something has been going in every 5 minutes. I can't control it and I can only put it down to the increase in training distances.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Firstly, running is best as a solitary sport. Slowing down for others diminishes the training aspect of the run. Speeding up to remove the guilt of slowing the other down moves the body into the anaerobic zone, which is unsustainable and not suited to endurance training.
Secondly, 5km runs are no longer enough. Neither are 25km mountain bike rides or 2km swims. Not even if performed all in the same day.
I will have to adjust the jacuzzi to training time ratio in favour of training time!
And to cap it all off, I've spent most of this week eating. I mean really eating. Something has been going in every 5 minutes. I can't control it and I can only put it down to the increase in training distances.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Sunday 5 October 2008
My remaining companion was pain
An "all you can eat" Indian buffet was not the wisest choice for a meal the evening before the Stirling Championship Duathlon (10k run / 40k cycle / 5k run).
I clung to The Editor's heels for nearly the entire first 10k running stint before he put in speed burst, presumably excited about trying out his new lightweight wheels on the bike course. I was only a few seconds behind him during transition, but rounding the next corner, like Kyser Soze, he was gone.
About 10 minutes later I saw the confusing sight of a stationary cyclist up ahead. I say confusing, because this cyclist was viewing life from a different plane, having tilted 90 degrees to the left and lying sideways on the ground with one foot waving in the air. Both feet were still firmly attached to the pedals, but alas one pedal was not attached to the bicycle any more. I could only surmise there had catastrophic metallic failure. Up until this point in time I had fully conceeded victory to The Editor, since I was riding a mountain bike and he was on a speed machine. On seeing the roadside spectacle, I was remined of his previous triathlon descriptions, "There's always one with mechanical failure". I had been looking forward to giving token chase on the bike, but my only remaining companion was to be the muscle pain encountered immediately on commencing the second 5k run. Like a life-long faithful dog, the pain stayed with me every step of the full 5k.
Thankfully there were free massages being handed out afterwards, but that wasn't without its own level of pain.
Racing with the big boys was bound to leave me feeling a little deflated, coming 82nd out of 92, but the experience is valuable. It appears there is rather a lot of work to be done before Ironman France 2009.
Current weight is 12 stones 11 pounds (179 pounds / 81.2 kg).
I clung to The Editor's heels for nearly the entire first 10k running stint before he put in speed burst, presumably excited about trying out his new lightweight wheels on the bike course. I was only a few seconds behind him during transition, but rounding the next corner, like Kyser Soze, he was gone.
About 10 minutes later I saw the confusing sight of a stationary cyclist up ahead. I say confusing, because this cyclist was viewing life from a different plane, having tilted 90 degrees to the left and lying sideways on the ground with one foot waving in the air. Both feet were still firmly attached to the pedals, but alas one pedal was not attached to the bicycle any more. I could only surmise there had catastrophic metallic failure. Up until this point in time I had fully conceeded victory to The Editor, since I was riding a mountain bike and he was on a speed machine. On seeing the roadside spectacle, I was remined of his previous triathlon descriptions, "There's always one with mechanical failure". I had been looking forward to giving token chase on the bike, but my only remaining companion was to be the muscle pain encountered immediately on commencing the second 5k run. Like a life-long faithful dog, the pain stayed with me every step of the full 5k.
Thankfully there were free massages being handed out afterwards, but that wasn't without its own level of pain.
Racing with the big boys was bound to leave me feeling a little deflated, coming 82nd out of 92, but the experience is valuable. It appears there is rather a lot of work to be done before Ironman France 2009.
Current weight is 12 stones 11 pounds (179 pounds / 81.2 kg).
Thursday 2 October 2008
You are weak. That'll be £30, thanks.
I had my running professionally analysed last night, each step recorded onto video.
I cringed during the first playback.
I run like an old lady with a sore hip running for a bus carrying her weekly shopping. My left leg appears to operate somewhat normally, but my right is terrible. It over extends due to a rotation in the pelvis, scuffs the ground midway through a strike, lands heavily on the mid-foot and locks out occasionally.
The basic conclusion being that I am weak.
"For someone of your age and physique, your core muscles are way below par." It nearly brought a tear to my eye.
Current weight is 12 stones 11 pounds (179 pounds / 81.2 kg).
I cringed during the first playback.
I run like an old lady with a sore hip running for a bus carrying her weekly shopping. My left leg appears to operate somewhat normally, but my right is terrible. It over extends due to a rotation in the pelvis, scuffs the ground midway through a strike, lands heavily on the mid-foot and locks out occasionally.
The basic conclusion being that I am weak.
"For someone of your age and physique, your core muscles are way below par." It nearly brought a tear to my eye.
Current weight is 12 stones 11 pounds (179 pounds / 81.2 kg).
Sunday 28 September 2008
Portobello Aquathon and The Benchmark
Having spent too long talking to The Editor about pre-race nerves, and the physical manifestation of them, I now understand the term Lightening the Load. I even shaved my 14 year old Goatee beard to generate less drag during the swim.
750m swim (with a long beach start, including transition) = 15 mins 17 secs. I know, I know, it was a bit slow.
5km dash along the flat seafront = 20 mins 53 secs. That's remarkable and shows what Lycra can do for a man when it's correctly fitted to an attractive, faster lady.
So these are my new Benchmark times to be improved upon.
Speaking of Benchmarks, I've found out that I am increasingly annoying other people. Not because of my words or actions, but because I'm getting fitter. More than just one of my friends thinks that this is simply not on. They decided a long time ago that I was the 'maximum danger level' on their 'Healthometer'. "Oh, I'm nowhere near as unhealthy as the Walrus, so I must be OK."
It was an arbitrary, albeit easy choice to select me, what with my prior condition. I wouldn't say they were aiming very high, though. What a difference a year makes.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
I'm expecting to go into the 12s this week.
750m swim (with a long beach start, including transition) = 15 mins 17 secs. I know, I know, it was a bit slow.
5km dash along the flat seafront = 20 mins 53 secs. That's remarkable and shows what Lycra can do for a man when it's correctly fitted to an attractive, faster lady.
So these are my new Benchmark times to be improved upon.
Speaking of Benchmarks, I've found out that I am increasingly annoying other people. Not because of my words or actions, but because I'm getting fitter. More than just one of my friends thinks that this is simply not on. They decided a long time ago that I was the 'maximum danger level' on their 'Healthometer'. "Oh, I'm nowhere near as unhealthy as the Walrus, so I must be OK."
It was an arbitrary, albeit easy choice to select me, what with my prior condition. I wouldn't say they were aiming very high, though. What a difference a year makes.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
I'm expecting to go into the 12s this week.
Monday 22 September 2008
The Big Ben Nevis Triathlon award winner!
I awoke at
I won't forget my first steps into
Then into T1, where you change out of your wetsuit and into your cycling gear. Why it took me more than 8 minutes to put on trousers, a t-shirt, shoes and a bike helmet is completely beyond explanation. If you were quick, 8 minutes is apparently long enough to do all that, then pop across the road and have a 5 item Morrison’s fry up and a cuppa.
The first feeling of utter despair didn’t arrive until the start of the third cycle lap, around 47km into the 90km. My decision to speed through the transition on this lap without stopping for food or drink was not a wise one. If the camera man hadn’t been filming me, no doubt I would have instead been stuffing my face with the “free” sliced half Mars Bars and quartered oranges before returning to mountain biking déjà vu hell. But I skipped the niceties and went straight to the mountain biking déjà vu hell. The same bleak route yet again, but this time with the added benefit of more pain and no-one else around for company. My morale was boosted when the Total Fitness Bath couple overtook me near the top of the long climb, giving a visual incentive to remain a short distance behind her rear wheel. I remained there for quite some time (approximately 8km), occasionally clearing my eyes to try and get a better view through her permanently muddy rooster tail of spray that had become quite annoying by this time. However, once on the tarmac, their polished cycling tactics allowed them to accelerate away. Obviously they do normal Triathlons too.
Lap 4 became quite enjoyable after I had ditched the inferior organic dried dates and decided to stop for chocolate treats at every single feeding station. Oh how I wish I hadn’t mocked The Editor’s multi-buy family pack of Snickers.
The 21km run stage might as well have been replaced by a 4406 foot ladder, since it was nearly vertical all the way to the top. No zigzagging tourist paths here - just a direct ascent up a sketchy path with only a handful of jelly babies to look forward to at the half way point. Had I been a few minutes quicker, I would have witnessed the spectacle of The Editor standing around chatting and having a cup of tea with the marshals at the lower feeding station. 7 hours without a cuppa was obviously just too long. I think the only reason I caught up with him at all was this ill thought out strategy of tea consumption, leading to presumably more frequent toilet stops en-route.
About 25 minutes from the top and I went through a secondary lapse of reason. The bleakness became overwhelming; a sea of crunching scree enveloping you and the realisation slowly dawning that you are actually expected to run back down this cliff-face of a route without hurting yourself. Yet again I can’t understand why I refuse the kindly prepared minty looking
I justify losing two positions on the downward section by having gained 3 on the upward leg. I actually didn’t mind getting overtaken by the amusing German who was praying that “it would all end soon”. And only momentarily did I think about knobbling the bloke who was considerably faster on the flat road run out to the finish. I would never have caught up with him to knobble anyway.
I cross the line 24th out of 42 entrants. That's not bad for my second ever Triathlon, considering this was a greulling off-road, half Ironman distance event.
In true Scottish fashion, the prize giving was held in the local pub. After the applause for each category winner had died down, the man from the shore took to the stage.
“We begin a new tradition tonight. Each year we will be giving a special "Brass Monkey" award for the entrant who surprises us the most during the day.” I thought it was sure to go to the guy who spent more than 2 minutes totally nude at T1 in front of all the children and old ladies. But my name was called! I nearly choked on my well deserved cheeseburger and double helping of chips. As I approached to receive the award, the room fell silent.
”Of course” I replied.
He began “This time last year you were …..” which lead me to complete “21 and a half stones.”
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
I can't believe that I've actually put weight on after this weekend!Wednesday 17 September 2008
Pizza supper
There was quite a bit of discussion during our training run together, earlier this evening. Mostly it revolved around what clothing we would be wearing and our training schedules, etc. It turned out that we had plenty of time for chatting as the quick 10k soon turned into a mammoth 16k off road, mud and woodland epic in the dark.
It also provided an eye-opening insight into The Editor's meticulous preparations for what most would consider to be a strenuous event next Saturday, the Big Ben Nevis Triathlon.
"So, The Editor, how much training have you done for Saturday?"
"Well, I did go to the swimming baths on Monday."
"What running shoes have you got?"
"I think I'll wear my sandals."
"How many hills have you run up within the past year?"
"None. But I've been to the Alps!"
And my favourite, "Which is your favourite part of Triathlon?"
"None of it. I hate every bit."
I could hardly concentrate for laughing. It's priceless. You couldn't write a day in the life of The Editor, as nobody would believe you.
But the good news for him is that I managed to temporarily handicap myself on the way home. With the carbo loading having already begun, and keen to replenish the now missing glycogen in my muscles, I couldn't decide if I should get a bag of chips to snack on for the journey home, or if I should eat the Salt and Vinegar Rice Pringles that were sitting beside me, having been purchased to aide with Saturday night's recovery. So I ate the Pringles. Then I went to the chippy. Then, for good measure, I went to the Pizza shop. Doh!
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg), but likely to increase tomorrow!
It also provided an eye-opening insight into The Editor's meticulous preparations for what most would consider to be a strenuous event next Saturday, the Big Ben Nevis Triathlon.
"So, The Editor, how much training have you done for Saturday?"
"Well, I did go to the swimming baths on Monday."
"What running shoes have you got?"
"I think I'll wear my sandals."
"How many hills have you run up within the past year?"
"None. But I've been to the Alps!"
And my favourite, "Which is your favourite part of Triathlon?"
"None of it. I hate every bit."
I could hardly concentrate for laughing. It's priceless. You couldn't write a day in the life of The Editor, as nobody would believe you.
But the good news for him is that I managed to temporarily handicap myself on the way home. With the carbo loading having already begun, and keen to replenish the now missing glycogen in my muscles, I couldn't decide if I should get a bag of chips to snack on for the journey home, or if I should eat the Salt and Vinegar Rice Pringles that were sitting beside me, having been purchased to aide with Saturday night's recovery. So I ate the Pringles. Then I went to the chippy. Then, for good measure, I went to the Pizza shop. Doh!
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg), but likely to increase tomorrow!
Dating a Triathlete...
I wish I had written this, but credit goes to this chap who copied it from somewhere else.
Dating a Triathlete...
"I am an outdoors type of person." Really means: I train in any type of weather. If it's raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100 percent humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a big wuss for complaining about it.
"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don't expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.
"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the same.
"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring omething to the party like more food. Eventually though if your not burning 4,000 calories a day your going to plump up and have a terrible complex due to watching me eat deserts and not gain any weight. Friends and family will eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table manners. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.
"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way you're going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don't want to find out.
"I find fulfillment in charitable work." Really means: If I am not racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it doesn't get taken off.
"I enjoy sharing quiet moments together." Really means: It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't workout.
"I am an active person." Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so let's make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.
"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." Really means: You have your choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and Canada, but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.
"I enjoy site seeing." Really means: Lets grab a mountain bike and get our HR's up to 90%. There's plenty of time to look around on the descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.
"I like stimulating conversation." Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food.
"I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub." Really Means: I'm going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.
"I'm interested in photography" Really Means: My camera is permanently perched a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.
"I'm into in technology" Really Means: My HRM and bike computer are my best friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my training, don't bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break into the top three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides as my mp3 player.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Dating a Triathlete...
"I am an outdoors type of person." Really means: I train in any type of weather. If it's raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100 percent humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a big wuss for complaining about it.
"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop you - I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don't expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.
"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Let's run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the same.
"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring omething to the party like more food. Eventually though if your not burning 4,000 calories a day your going to plump up and have a terrible complex due to watching me eat deserts and not gain any weight. Friends and family will eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table manners. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.
"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way you're going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don't want to find out.
"I find fulfillment in charitable work." Really means: If I am not racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it doesn't get taken off.
"I enjoy sharing quiet moments together." Really means: It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't workout.
"I am an active person." Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so let's make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.
"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." Really means: You have your choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and Canada, but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.
"I enjoy site seeing." Really means: Lets grab a mountain bike and get our HR's up to 90%. There's plenty of time to look around on the descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.
"I like stimulating conversation." Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food.
"I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub." Really Means: I'm going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.
"I'm interested in photography" Really Means: My camera is permanently perched a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.
"I'm into in technology" Really Means: My HRM and bike computer are my best friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my training, don't bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break into the top three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides as my mp3 player.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Thursday 11 September 2008
Back to "normal"
My knee appears to be fixed.
The lady physio certainly knew what she was talking about. Either that, or my recovery miraculously coincided with her treatment. Hillwalking last weekend was without incident, after attempting to walk and run on the ball of my foot - especially on the downward sections. Even cycling is enjoyable again, not having to worry about snapping anything mechanical (related to the new mountain bike) or physical (related to my lower leg).
One week of training left now before the Big Triathlon. I see that 60 other "normal" people have entered so far! Will The Editor be adding to the field?
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
The lady physio certainly knew what she was talking about. Either that, or my recovery miraculously coincided with her treatment. Hillwalking last weekend was without incident, after attempting to walk and run on the ball of my foot - especially on the downward sections. Even cycling is enjoyable again, not having to worry about snapping anything mechanical (related to the new mountain bike) or physical (related to my lower leg).
One week of training left now before the Big Triathlon. I see that 60 other "normal" people have entered so far! Will The Editor be adding to the field?
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Monday 1 September 2008
Iliotibial irregularity
I now know quite a lot about knees. Nothing to trouble a scientist bod, and nothing I won't soon forget, but for the moment I know a lot more than I did last week. The pain has been narrowed down to mainly tendonitis. The "visible" manifestation being a very tight iliotibial tendon on my right leg. This has been creating the pain I've experienced on the opposite side of the knee, and now makes perfect sense considering the discomfort I've been experiencing.
I didn't just make this up. I went to see a professional. Actually, I previously self-diagnosed a completely different ailment, with an unsurprisingly contradictory treatment plan. However, the guilt of pressing ahead regardless with step ups and plyometric jumps has now lifted entirely. Actually, the physio informed me that the worst thing to do was to stop all exercise.
Tonight I responded with a vigorous 15k off-road bike reintroduction to the training schedule and caked myself in mud. After a couple of iliotibial related "oohs", "errs" and "I don't know about this", it appears that I've gained considerable benefit from actually using the leg again. The Big Ben Nevis triathlon appears to be no longer in doubt! Especially considering I didn't drown on my first real open water swim in Loch Tay yesterday.
If only I'd gone to see the physio two weeks ago, it would have advanced the pleasure of sitting in the same room as a beautiful young woman, watching as she expertly composed an image my quadricipital muscle structure in her mind with fingertips as her only tool, then diagnosing and treating my knee issue before commanding me to demonstrate my squatting technique; all of this whilst dressed in nothing more than my pants. Oh, of course, and I would have had an extra two weeks training.
She also informed me that my running technique needs to dramatically change to avoid serious long term issues.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
I didn't just make this up. I went to see a professional. Actually, I previously self-diagnosed a completely different ailment, with an unsurprisingly contradictory treatment plan. However, the guilt of pressing ahead regardless with step ups and plyometric jumps has now lifted entirely. Actually, the physio informed me that the worst thing to do was to stop all exercise.
Tonight I responded with a vigorous 15k off-road bike reintroduction to the training schedule and caked myself in mud. After a couple of iliotibial related "oohs", "errs" and "I don't know about this", it appears that I've gained considerable benefit from actually using the leg again. The Big Ben Nevis triathlon appears to be no longer in doubt! Especially considering I didn't drown on my first real open water swim in Loch Tay yesterday.
If only I'd gone to see the physio two weeks ago, it would have advanced the pleasure of sitting in the same room as a beautiful young woman, watching as she expertly composed an image my quadricipital muscle structure in her mind with fingertips as her only tool, then diagnosing and treating my knee issue before commanding me to demonstrate my squatting technique; all of this whilst dressed in nothing more than my pants. Oh, of course, and I would have had an extra two weeks training.
She also informed me that my running technique needs to dramatically change to avoid serious long term issues.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Wednesday 27 August 2008
Step up, the Doctor
After the trial run for the "Big Ben Nevis" Triathlon, my right knee has been giving me serious amounts of discomfort. So much so, that I've not really used it for 16 days (barring a drunken 6.8k jog home from the pub). I'm chomping at the bit to get some excercise done! Last night I thought I'd experiment with a short 5k run to test how the recovery is progressing.
The recovery was not progressing very well. I went to bed with a throbbing knee and awoke with a similarly throbbing knee.
Having previously arranged a cycle ride for tonight with an attractive member of the opposite sex, I was fully planning to stuggle through the pain. But after a no show, I ended up in the gym. 3 minutes on the elliptical runner resulted in a sore knee. A switch to the reclining bike and a further 3 minutes later, a sore knee. FFS.
I switched to some staight leg, quad strengthening excercises, but got bored pretty quickly, so I decided to attempt some step ups as an experiment. Well, it was almost like something snapped back into place and the pain all but disappeared. I did bench step ups with 20kg weights. Then I did some plyometric jumps. Then I rested, satisfied that I had achieved some good this evening.
I awoke the next morning with a sore knee! It must have been the ibuprofen.
Bugger.
Physio next Sunday.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
The recovery was not progressing very well. I went to bed with a throbbing knee and awoke with a similarly throbbing knee.
Having previously arranged a cycle ride for tonight with an attractive member of the opposite sex, I was fully planning to stuggle through the pain. But after a no show, I ended up in the gym. 3 minutes on the elliptical runner resulted in a sore knee. A switch to the reclining bike and a further 3 minutes later, a sore knee. FFS.
I switched to some staight leg, quad strengthening excercises, but got bored pretty quickly, so I decided to attempt some step ups as an experiment. Well, it was almost like something snapped back into place and the pain all but disappeared. I did bench step ups with 20kg weights. Then I did some plyometric jumps. Then I rested, satisfied that I had achieved some good this evening.
I awoke the next morning with a sore knee! It must have been the ibuprofen.
Bugger.
Physio next Sunday.
Current weight is 13 stones (182 pounds / 82.5 kg).
Wednesday 20 August 2008
Whisky, 7 pounds
No, not pounds Sterling. Unfortunately.
Another wedding weekend, meaning 3 days of *ahem* "binge" drinking and eating. This is closely followed by another few mornings carefully positioning myself on the scales to try and elicit a weighty white lie from them, thus reducing the annoyance factor. Curse German precision manufacturing.
It always takes until Wednesday to recover, weight wise.
Another 4 days of festivities are fast approaching. My favourite drinking buddy arrives on Friday for a long weekend of low and high brow Fringe Events followed by an "all you can eat" BBQ.
All these days off, whilst very enjoyable, and actually beneficial towards the recovery of my knee, are not really helping my training for the "Big Ben Nevis Triathlon". In fact, my trainer's face turned paper white when I told her of the impending workload. That was before I even informed her of my temporarily handicapped knee. You can imagine what she thinks of my own mental state.
The conversation went something like this. "You need to train me for a mammoth swimming, cycling and running event in 4 and a half weeks. Oh, and I can't use my knees."
"You are a *** ... expletive removed ... *** idiot."
Well, at least the swimming should be OK.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Another wedding weekend, meaning 3 days of *ahem* "binge" drinking and eating. This is closely followed by another few mornings carefully positioning myself on the scales to try and elicit a weighty white lie from them, thus reducing the annoyance factor. Curse German precision manufacturing.
It always takes until Wednesday to recover, weight wise.
Another 4 days of festivities are fast approaching. My favourite drinking buddy arrives on Friday for a long weekend of low and high brow Fringe Events followed by an "all you can eat" BBQ.
All these days off, whilst very enjoyable, and actually beneficial towards the recovery of my knee, are not really helping my training for the "Big Ben Nevis Triathlon". In fact, my trainer's face turned paper white when I told her of the impending workload. That was before I even informed her of my temporarily handicapped knee. You can imagine what she thinks of my own mental state.
The conversation went something like this. "You need to train me for a mammoth swimming, cycling and running event in 4 and a half weeks. Oh, and I can't use my knees."
"You are a *** ... expletive removed ... *** idiot."
Well, at least the swimming should be OK.
Current weight is 13 stones 2 pounds (184 pounds / 83.5 kg).
Monday 11 August 2008
Sore knees and 1,200 calorie snacks
Being a typical male and fearing the worst, I think I have developed patellofemoral syndrome, or runner's knee. Now that didn't take long, did it. The fact that it's notably most common among post-pubescent girls gives less than slight comfort to my ailing right patella. It's actually bloody sore, leaving my right leg pretty redundant when it comes to moving around. Camping in a small tent doesn't particularly lend itself to the recouperation process either. Of course, this would never had happened if I hadn't lost all the weight and decided to do things that quite simply put, "aren't normal".
It was on the upward leg of Ben Nevis when I overheard an ambling couple, who had already peaked, chatting about the virtues of hill walking. The man declared to his partner, "The whole point is that you've climbed the UK's highest mountain". She just just didn't get it, but I wasn't long enough in passing to witness the follow up discussion.
Quite frankly, on the way up, I didn't get it either, ascending for more than one hour over the massive of depressing, mist drenched mountain. Approaching the summit of Ben Nevis in cloud is much like life in the trenches as portrayed in old black and white war movies.
But the way down, oh boy! It's quite amazing how you can draw the crowd's attention when you are bounding down the hill like an escaped lunatic. I can still see each and every rain soaked, bemused and bewildered look as I elegantly and delicately slipped, slided and crashed my way down the hill at speed. I daren't even turn around to inspect the amusement adorning those who witnessed my full commando roll, the result of stumbling and losing my footing over a drainage trench. Thankfully, my half full (yes, The Editor, still half full) camel-back offered sufficient protection that I simply bounced out of the daring manoeuvre on the up-stroke and carried on. Well, I did come to a hobbling stop 50 yards later to inspect for blood, but was swiftly heading downwards again when I confirmed all the bones were still in the right place and my skin was still keeping almost everything inside. The only 'damage' of note to property was discovered at the bottom, where my spare fleece was damp and smelling decidedly orangey following a slight expression from my drinks bladder.
Having completed this weekend's training exercise, I found a particular issue with food intake. Researching dietary requirements during long distance events, a competitor can often burn over 7,000 calories during such day of training or competition. I can confirm that I have barely managed to contain my appetite, more than 24 hours after the event. After eating considerable amounts of chips, cheese, noodles, more pasta than you could imagine, crisp snacks, an entire shoulder of lamb, more cheese, a huge packet of chocolate and an entire bottle of whisky, I am barely satisfied. That doesn't even include the high calorie intake during the training either!
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
It was on the upward leg of Ben Nevis when I overheard an ambling couple, who had already peaked, chatting about the virtues of hill walking. The man declared to his partner, "The whole point is that you've climbed the UK's highest mountain". She just just didn't get it, but I wasn't long enough in passing to witness the follow up discussion.
Quite frankly, on the way up, I didn't get it either, ascending for more than one hour over the massive of depressing, mist drenched mountain. Approaching the summit of Ben Nevis in cloud is much like life in the trenches as portrayed in old black and white war movies.
But the way down, oh boy! It's quite amazing how you can draw the crowd's attention when you are bounding down the hill like an escaped lunatic. I can still see each and every rain soaked, bemused and bewildered look as I elegantly and delicately slipped, slided and crashed my way down the hill at speed. I daren't even turn around to inspect the amusement adorning those who witnessed my full commando roll, the result of stumbling and losing my footing over a drainage trench. Thankfully, my half full (yes, The Editor, still half full) camel-back offered sufficient protection that I simply bounced out of the daring manoeuvre on the up-stroke and carried on. Well, I did come to a hobbling stop 50 yards later to inspect for blood, but was swiftly heading downwards again when I confirmed all the bones were still in the right place and my skin was still keeping almost everything inside. The only 'damage' of note to property was discovered at the bottom, where my spare fleece was damp and smelling decidedly orangey following a slight expression from my drinks bladder.
Having completed this weekend's training exercise, I found a particular issue with food intake. Researching dietary requirements during long distance events, a competitor can often burn over 7,000 calories during such day of training or competition. I can confirm that I have barely managed to contain my appetite, more than 24 hours after the event. After eating considerable amounts of chips, cheese, noodles, more pasta than you could imagine, crisp snacks, an entire shoulder of lamb, more cheese, a huge packet of chocolate and an entire bottle of whisky, I am barely satisfied. That doesn't even include the high calorie intake during the training either!
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
Sunday 3 August 2008
Vicious circle
It's fair to say that July hasn't been the best month for weight loss so far. In fact, I haven't lost a pound. Not a single one.
Many would consider that a great disappointment, but I am viewing it a little more philosophically. Looking at the situation with rose tinted glasses, it shows that I can maintain a steady weight quite easy, and in doing so, can stuff my face with Salt and Vinegar Rice Pringles, Belgian Chocolate covered nuts, home made scones, clotted cream, jam, chocolate, whisky, more whisky, even more whisky and generally all things nice. But I wouldn't want to take this too far.
In fact, to maintain my current weight and regain some fitness after a couple of weeks of enforced lightened training with unenforced increased eating, I have significantly stepped up the calorific expenditure. It still amuses me that I'm actually enjoying it too.
Monday: 10km off road teaser, to see if I could do it.
Tuesday: 25 minutes on the treadmill at up to 13.5 km/h, followed by a 40 minute upper body workout.
Wednesday: worked all*&%$££* day and evening.
Thursday: I can now happily report that my very first 10km time trial on a road route ended in 51 minutes and 28 seconds. Then I went to Swim Club.
Friday: A day of rest.
Saturday: I cycled 22.5 km to a Munro, ran 5.7km up it, ran back down and cycled home.
Sunday: I decided that my knees needed some recovery time!
It was a week of self discovery. I discovered that when I exercise a lot, my body screams for more fuel, especially in the form of carbs, and my mental state is currently too weak to oppose.
Judging by my current weight of 13 stones 6 pounds (188 pounds / 85.3 kg), either I've really got to return to a stricter eating pattern or step up the exercise again.
Many would consider that a great disappointment, but I am viewing it a little more philosophically. Looking at the situation with rose tinted glasses, it shows that I can maintain a steady weight quite easy, and in doing so, can stuff my face with Salt and Vinegar Rice Pringles, Belgian Chocolate covered nuts, home made scones, clotted cream, jam, chocolate, whisky, more whisky, even more whisky and generally all things nice. But I wouldn't want to take this too far.
In fact, to maintain my current weight and regain some fitness after a couple of weeks of enforced lightened training with unenforced increased eating, I have significantly stepped up the calorific expenditure. It still amuses me that I'm actually enjoying it too.
Monday: 10km off road teaser, to see if I could do it.
Tuesday: 25 minutes on the treadmill at up to 13.5 km/h, followed by a 40 minute upper body workout.
Wednesday: worked all*&%$££* day and evening.
Thursday: I can now happily report that my very first 10km time trial on a road route ended in 51 minutes and 28 seconds. Then I went to Swim Club.
Friday: A day of rest.
Saturday: I cycled 22.5 km to a Munro, ran 5.7km up it, ran back down and cycled home.
Sunday: I decided that my knees needed some recovery time!
It was a week of self discovery. I discovered that when I exercise a lot, my body screams for more fuel, especially in the form of carbs, and my mental state is currently too weak to oppose.
Judging by my current weight of 13 stones 6 pounds (188 pounds / 85.3 kg), either I've really got to return to a stricter eating pattern or step up the exercise again.
Thursday 24 July 2008
Speaking of folds ...
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Surely you've reached your target now."
"You're looking great!"
Of the three most common remarks I hear about my weight loss so far, I like the third one best. Actually the first two just wind me up. What the casual glancer doesn't appreciate is that my remaining wobbles are considerably diluted around the waist area when I'm standing vertically, but they concentrate in a dramatic, swaying fashion when viewed from certain more horizontal planes.
"What are you doing in that kind of position?" I hear you ask.
I'm now back down to the lightest weight I've been, so next week should see me exploring new territory.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
"Surely you've reached your target now."
"You're looking great!"
Of the three most common remarks I hear about my weight loss so far, I like the third one best. Actually the first two just wind me up. What the casual glancer doesn't appreciate is that my remaining wobbles are considerably diluted around the waist area when I'm standing vertically, but they concentrate in a dramatic, swaying fashion when viewed from certain more horizontal planes.
"What are you doing in that kind of position?" I hear you ask.
I'm now back down to the lightest weight I've been, so next week should see me exploring new territory.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
Monday 21 July 2008
Triathlon Gold
It wasn't billed as the greatest race on earth. Still, the Club's mini Triathlon seemed like a good place to test my updated running skills against half a dozen non-serious mums and dads. During last week's training over the standard 5k course, my run time continued to amaze me. Even though I really thought I was running a positive split, the total time over the standard course is now 25 minutes 40 seconds.
Back to Sunday's outing; 400m swimming, followed by a 2 mile cycle and a 1 mile run only seems like a short training event now, but the race induced adrenaline fairly gets you motivated and pushes you to breathlessness.
I was out of the pool first and my nearest competitor was last seen gaining on me in the cycle. But he had completely disappeared during the run stage when I had expected to be caught and overtaken. I presumed it was to do with the enclosed course layout that I couldn't spot him. When I reached the finish line, I learned that he had fallen from the bike and dislocated his collar bone. Luckily, 6 weeks is destined to heal all.
Fortune had shone again, this week in the form of a Gold medal. Beijing it was not, but very exciting none the less!
Current weight is 13 stones 8 pounds (190 pounds / 86.2 kg).
Back to Sunday's outing; 400m swimming, followed by a 2 mile cycle and a 1 mile run only seems like a short training event now, but the race induced adrenaline fairly gets you motivated and pushes you to breathlessness.
I was out of the pool first and my nearest competitor was last seen gaining on me in the cycle. But he had completely disappeared during the run stage when I had expected to be caught and overtaken. I presumed it was to do with the enclosed course layout that I couldn't spot him. When I reached the finish line, I learned that he had fallen from the bike and dislocated his collar bone. Luckily, 6 weeks is destined to heal all.
Fortune had shone again, this week in the form of a Gold medal. Beijing it was not, but very exciting none the less!
Current weight is 13 stones 8 pounds (190 pounds / 86.2 kg).
Monday 14 July 2008
Return to the fold
Technically, owing to my weekday only membership of the gym, I've only been away for one day, which is was my normal rest day anyway. It seemed like an age. Tonight I managed to participate in a Spinning class without too much rib trouble. That was followed by 10 minutes on the treadmill, a feat that generated confused double takes. "Can he do that so soon?". Yes was the answer. But I buckled on the third stroke of front crawl with the rib extension generating too much inconvenience, since I couldn't allow pain giving full arm extensions. I retired swiftly to the Jacuzzi.
But arriving back at my PC tonight, I began to hear the Rocky theme playing in my mind. An upsurge of enthusiasm, a motivation bestowed from on high, a mission adorned by the greater good. I sensed a new calling. An email from The Editor has signaled a new direction. He'd just participated in his first Olympic distance triathlon and was "slightly" disappointed with the outcome. "Pretty Crap" summed up the day. This has riled him enough to raise the stakes and set a new benchmark. And I think I can help. By stealing his only proper fitting wetsuit and "borrowing" his more modern bike, leaving him with the more antiquated versions, I hope to compete and train with him until he bursts with competitiveness and shows the current Super Vet champ a thing or two. It'll be like giving Rocky an old sweaty tracksuit and making him try to catch some chickens with one arm tied behind his back. Well, if The Editor choses to take a break from real life and do some training ...?
Current weight is 13 stones 8 pounds (190 pounds / 86.2 kg).
But I'm not disappointed. Actually, I sense renewed vigor.
But arriving back at my PC tonight, I began to hear the Rocky theme playing in my mind. An upsurge of enthusiasm, a motivation bestowed from on high, a mission adorned by the greater good. I sensed a new calling. An email from The Editor has signaled a new direction. He'd just participated in his first Olympic distance triathlon and was "slightly" disappointed with the outcome. "Pretty Crap" summed up the day. This has riled him enough to raise the stakes and set a new benchmark. And I think I can help. By stealing his only proper fitting wetsuit and "borrowing" his more modern bike, leaving him with the more antiquated versions, I hope to compete and train with him until he bursts with competitiveness and shows the current Super Vet champ a thing or two. It'll be like giving Rocky an old sweaty tracksuit and making him try to catch some chickens with one arm tied behind his back. Well, if The Editor choses to take a break from real life and do some training ...?
Current weight is 13 stones 8 pounds (190 pounds / 86.2 kg).
But I'm not disappointed. Actually, I sense renewed vigor.
Saturday 12 July 2008
Scone frenzy
I am motivated by incentives.
When I reached 15 and a half stones, I rewarded myself for reaching my first major weight loss target with the purchase of a beautiful, brand new Honda Shadow Spirit 750 cc motorcycle. It's been a joyful 10 weeks of biking, wearing slimming, tight fitting leathers.
Until Thursday night, that is, when a mystery car driver chose to come straight at me on my side of the road. We did not collide, but I was forced off the road and the next few moments, whilst being hurled through the air at 50 mph with zero control over the outcome, afforded me some time to think. The significant conclusion was that if I made it out in one piece, I would not be getting back on a motorcycle again.
It was my lucky day.
The reality is that's a major, major understatement. But I simply have no other explanation as to why , after I had finally stopped sliding on my back, I stood up and walked back to examine what remained of the bike after it had rebounded 20 feet off the stone dyke wall.
The Editor, who putting aside any Triathlon rivalry, appeared swiftly with trailer to remove my bike from the scene, decided that the trailer was not actually warranted and simply rode the bike back to it's present home. It seems "someone" was also "watching over" the bike that evening, as well as looking out for me. Thank you.
I fear if I'd been physically much larger, there would have been an almighty "splat", and the resultant inertial bone crunching bounce might have offered up an alternative trajectory straight into the above mentioned stone dyke wall. So I'm convinced the weight loss aided my in this situation. As it is, I have some bruising under the lower ribs on my right side and was told to lay off the exercise for a couple of days. Even the surgical consultant who examined me could not offer an explanation as to why I walked out of hospital a couple of hours later without any external bruising or broken bones.
Since the accident, I'm finding great joy in the pleasure of scones. I have deemed life too short to deprive myself of the simple pleasures and have declared the correct mix of flour, butter, sugar, egg, milk and assorted dried fruit a "super food" to help with my recovery. Expect the weight to increase by a few pounds until the rib pain subsides, the scone frenzy fizzles out and the exercise resumes early next week.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
When I reached 15 and a half stones, I rewarded myself for reaching my first major weight loss target with the purchase of a beautiful, brand new Honda Shadow Spirit 750 cc motorcycle. It's been a joyful 10 weeks of biking, wearing slimming, tight fitting leathers.
Until Thursday night, that is, when a mystery car driver chose to come straight at me on my side of the road. We did not collide, but I was forced off the road and the next few moments, whilst being hurled through the air at 50 mph with zero control over the outcome, afforded me some time to think. The significant conclusion was that if I made it out in one piece, I would not be getting back on a motorcycle again.
It was my lucky day.
The reality is that's a major, major understatement. But I simply have no other explanation as to why , after I had finally stopped sliding on my back, I stood up and walked back to examine what remained of the bike after it had rebounded 20 feet off the stone dyke wall.
The Editor, who putting aside any Triathlon rivalry, appeared swiftly with trailer to remove my bike from the scene, decided that the trailer was not actually warranted and simply rode the bike back to it's present home. It seems "someone" was also "watching over" the bike that evening, as well as looking out for me. Thank you.
I fear if I'd been physically much larger, there would have been an almighty "splat", and the resultant inertial bone crunching bounce might have offered up an alternative trajectory straight into the above mentioned stone dyke wall. So I'm convinced the weight loss aided my in this situation. As it is, I have some bruising under the lower ribs on my right side and was told to lay off the exercise for a couple of days. Even the surgical consultant who examined me could not offer an explanation as to why I walked out of hospital a couple of hours later without any external bruising or broken bones.
Since the accident, I'm finding great joy in the pleasure of scones. I have deemed life too short to deprive myself of the simple pleasures and have declared the correct mix of flour, butter, sugar, egg, milk and assorted dried fruit a "super food" to help with my recovery. Expect the weight to increase by a few pounds until the rib pain subsides, the scone frenzy fizzles out and the exercise resumes early next week.
Current weight is 13 stones 4 pounds (186 pounds / 84.4 kg).
Tuesday 8 July 2008
OFF button override
My "off" button still doesn't work when I'm drunk, as I found out during last weekend's stag night out.
7 pints and a handful of whiskies in and I crumbled. My major weakness shot to the surface and I simply couldn't stop myself eating (and enjoying) the Empire biscuit that was enticingly displayed in the showcase desert fridge of Drummonds in Pitlochry. Quite why they chose to store and display a solitary Empire biscuit in such lavish refrigerated conditions is beyond me, but boy was I happy to see it. Even if I'd been rescued from 10 days and nights of Saharan thirst by finding an oasis of ice cold water, I couldn't have visibly expressed more emotion. I amused the staff so much with my drooling over said biscuit that they generously donated it, free of charge, to satisfy my craving and deliver my contentment.
Recounting this tale of falling off the wagon to "The Editor", he swiftly reminded me about a similar incident nearly one year ago to the day. The precursory lead in was very similar, namely heavy drinking followed by a sudden pang of hunger. Less than 2 minutes after wolfing down a king rib supper with extra smoked sausage single, I barged my way into the Pizza Emporium demanding a large spicy meat feast with extra cheese.
I believe that my stomach felt the same reaction to both incidents, but my sobered resolution couldn't have been more different this time around. Last year I lay down for most of the afternoon to recover, thinking more about what I'd have for tea that night as opposed to exhibiting any form of regret. This year I went on a 28 km hill walk, 16 km of which was jogging in and back out again.
Current weight is 13 stones 6 pounds (188 pounds / 85.3 kg).
7 pints and a handful of whiskies in and I crumbled. My major weakness shot to the surface and I simply couldn't stop myself eating (and enjoying) the Empire biscuit that was enticingly displayed in the showcase desert fridge of Drummonds in Pitlochry. Quite why they chose to store and display a solitary Empire biscuit in such lavish refrigerated conditions is beyond me, but boy was I happy to see it. Even if I'd been rescued from 10 days and nights of Saharan thirst by finding an oasis of ice cold water, I couldn't have visibly expressed more emotion. I amused the staff so much with my drooling over said biscuit that they generously donated it, free of charge, to satisfy my craving and deliver my contentment.
Recounting this tale of falling off the wagon to "The Editor", he swiftly reminded me about a similar incident nearly one year ago to the day. The precursory lead in was very similar, namely heavy drinking followed by a sudden pang of hunger. Less than 2 minutes after wolfing down a king rib supper with extra smoked sausage single, I barged my way into the Pizza Emporium demanding a large spicy meat feast with extra cheese.
I believe that my stomach felt the same reaction to both incidents, but my sobered resolution couldn't have been more different this time around. Last year I lay down for most of the afternoon to recover, thinking more about what I'd have for tea that night as opposed to exhibiting any form of regret. This year I went on a 28 km hill walk, 16 km of which was jogging in and back out again.
Current weight is 13 stones 6 pounds (188 pounds / 85.3 kg).
Monday 30 June 2008
Take away Take Aways
I hadn't had a fish supper for over a year. I was mentally practicing the lip smacking movements of enjoyment that I would be making after visiting the UK's best Fish and Chip shop, 2006, but I was bitterly disappointed.
In order to check if my taste buds were faulty, I thought it best to try a different shop after a few days, and I can safely say that the second portion restored my faith in the old fashioned favourite dish. Although I'm pretty sure I can wait another year before succumbing to temptation again.
I hadn't had a Chinese takeaway since November last year. At least not until last weekend. It was nice, albeit a little sugary, but nothing I wouldn't miss for another 6 months either.
I hadn't had a Mars Bar for 18 months. At least not until the other day. It wasn't even nice. I felt pretty bad after eating it actually.
In fact, during my past week's holiday, there were half a dozen meals eaten out in restaurants, but each time some thought was put in to avoid the greasiest dishes and have the healthiest option, without sacrificing on flavour. Even this has its pitfalls as I discovered when ordering fresh prawns (legs, eyes, arms and all) ,which came smothered in a garlic butter sauce.
The best meal in the past 2 weeks? It was the vegetable mix that I "created" when I was forced to stir fry all the remaining veggies in the fridge before leaving to go on holiday. I would take that over any take away any day of the week, and probably will for the next long while. A tenth of the fat and calories, but 10 times more tasty. For those who fear I may have turned to the "other" side (vegetarian), there was also a couple of slices of left over bacon that were thrown in.
Despite all this gastronomic extravagance, my current weight is remarkably 13 stones 8 pounds (190 pounds / 86.2 kg).
In order to check if my taste buds were faulty, I thought it best to try a different shop after a few days, and I can safely say that the second portion restored my faith in the old fashioned favourite dish. Although I'm pretty sure I can wait another year before succumbing to temptation again.
I hadn't had a Chinese takeaway since November last year. At least not until last weekend. It was nice, albeit a little sugary, but nothing I wouldn't miss for another 6 months either.
I hadn't had a Mars Bar for 18 months. At least not until the other day. It wasn't even nice. I felt pretty bad after eating it actually.
In fact, during my past week's holiday, there were half a dozen meals eaten out in restaurants, but each time some thought was put in to avoid the greasiest dishes and have the healthiest option, without sacrificing on flavour. Even this has its pitfalls as I discovered when ordering fresh prawns (legs, eyes, arms and all) ,which came smothered in a garlic butter sauce.
The best meal in the past 2 weeks? It was the vegetable mix that I "created" when I was forced to stir fry all the remaining veggies in the fridge before leaving to go on holiday. I would take that over any take away any day of the week, and probably will for the next long while. A tenth of the fat and calories, but 10 times more tasty. For those who fear I may have turned to the "other" side (vegetarian), there was also a couple of slices of left over bacon that were thrown in.
Despite all this gastronomic extravagance, my current weight is remarkably 13 stones 8 pounds (190 pounds / 86.2 kg).
Tuesday 17 June 2008
No sweat
Well, quite a lot of sweat actually.
Tonight's training session kicked off with some running on the treadmill, something which I haven't done for a while. I was feeling quite the part in my new running tights. Then straight in to weighted squats to focus on leg strength. I was quite happy with the lack of projectile sweating from the head at this point, right up until Kristy pointed out the sweat stripe across my shoulders and all the way down my spine. Upon reflection in the mirror, I looked like a T-bone steak. So it appears that my increased level of fitness is resulting in a seismic movement of sweat glands. I wonder where the sweat might eminate from after another few months? I hope it's not "there".
I suppose I will need some "special skills" for my new role as Plyometric man, what with all the jumping up and down off the bench.
However, Kristy had different ideas. She christened me with possibly the worst super hero name in the world. I hope "Lycra man" doesn't stick.
Current weight is 13 stones 13 pounds (195 pounds / 88.5 kg).
Tonight's training session kicked off with some running on the treadmill, something which I haven't done for a while. I was feeling quite the part in my new running tights. Then straight in to weighted squats to focus on leg strength. I was quite happy with the lack of projectile sweating from the head at this point, right up until Kristy pointed out the sweat stripe across my shoulders and all the way down my spine. Upon reflection in the mirror, I looked like a T-bone steak. So it appears that my increased level of fitness is resulting in a seismic movement of sweat glands. I wonder where the sweat might eminate from after another few months? I hope it's not "there".
I suppose I will need some "special skills" for my new role as Plyometric man, what with all the jumping up and down off the bench.
However, Kristy had different ideas. She christened me with possibly the worst super hero name in the world. I hope "Lycra man" doesn't stick.
Current weight is 13 stones 13 pounds (195 pounds / 88.5 kg).
Friday 13 June 2008
Unlucky for some
Aided by this month's "Swim the Channel Challenge" comprising swimming 22 miles during the month of June, which is compressed into the just-below-boredom-threshold of 200 lengths every other night, my resting heart rate has fallen to 40 bpm. I was half way though giving myself a congratulatory pat on the back until Google informed me that Lance Armstrong's resting heart rate was 32. There's always one, isn't there.
The reason for the "unlucky" title? Triskaidekaphobics should look away now:
Current weight is 13 stones 13 pounds (195 pounds / 88.5 kg).
If you further suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia then you really shouldn't be reading this in the first place.
The reason for the "unlucky" title? Triskaidekaphobics should look away now:
Current weight is 13 stones 13 pounds (195 pounds / 88.5 kg).
If you further suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia then you really shouldn't be reading this in the first place.
Tuesday 3 June 2008
Sale: 1/3 off, everything must go!
Another couple of round numbers have been breached.
My current weight loss is 102 pounds, officially more than one third of my original body weight, or over 50% of my current body weight depending on which viewpoint your prefer. Statistics, eh. I don't need to tell you, but that's a lot of fat. I calculate it to be 711.79 Mars bars*.
Current weight is 14 stones 3 pounds (199 pounds / 90.3 kg).
* Standard weight Mars bar of 65 grammes. Figures rounded to 2 decimal places.
My current weight loss is 102 pounds, officially more than one third of my original body weight, or over 50% of my current body weight depending on which viewpoint your prefer. Statistics, eh. I don't need to tell you, but that's a lot of fat. I calculate it to be 711.79 Mars bars*.
Current weight is 14 stones 3 pounds (199 pounds / 90.3 kg).
* Standard weight Mars bar of 65 grammes. Figures rounded to 2 decimal places.
Sunday 1 June 2008
Czech Republic beware
The official Sprint Triathlon times will be available in a few days, but to summarise:
1) Swim time was fantastic. Much better than expected.
2) Bicycle time was shocking.
3) Run time was merely OK.
Note 1) Despite the swim warm up time being reduced to 40 seconds, I managed to lap everyone at least once and a couple of them twice.
Note 2) The bike time wasn't helped by having to dismount and put the chain back on after 8k. Nor was it helped by using a bicycle designed before the last great war. I knew I should have removed the rear parcel carrier to save weight. Thankfully the perished (and flat) rubber tyres were spotted yesterday, in time for replacements to be purchased.
Note 3) The run time was slow for a stand alone event, but OK considering what came before.
I'm not disappointed. I put in a full effort, completing the course respectably and giving notable grief to my gluteus maximus during the cycle. Either that or I was sitting funnily. Unofficially, my time was 1 hour, 26 minutes and 05 seconds.
But I'm not elated either. I had hoped for an overall sub 1 hour 25 time to beat The Editors previous PB. I wouldn't have come close to his new PB time set today.
I fear he won't stop at Poland.
Current weight is 14 stones 4 pounds (200 pounds / 90.7 kg).
1) Swim time was fantastic. Much better than expected.
2) Bicycle time was shocking.
3) Run time was merely OK.
Note 1) Despite the swim warm up time being reduced to 40 seconds, I managed to lap everyone at least once and a couple of them twice.
Note 2) The bike time wasn't helped by having to dismount and put the chain back on after 8k. Nor was it helped by using a bicycle designed before the last great war. I knew I should have removed the rear parcel carrier to save weight. Thankfully the perished (and flat) rubber tyres were spotted yesterday, in time for replacements to be purchased.
Note 3) The run time was slow for a stand alone event, but OK considering what came before.
I'm not disappointed. I put in a full effort, completing the course respectably and giving notable grief to my gluteus maximus during the cycle. Either that or I was sitting funnily. Unofficially, my time was 1 hour, 26 minutes and 05 seconds.
But I'm not elated either. I had hoped for an overall sub 1 hour 25 time to beat The Editors previous PB. I wouldn't have come close to his new PB time set today.
I fear he won't stop at Poland.
Current weight is 14 stones 4 pounds (200 pounds / 90.7 kg).
Friday 30 May 2008
Diuretic carbs
I've been following the scientifically and professionally prepared tapering schedule in preparation for Sunday's Event. This includes carbohydrate loading to maximise the glycogen storage in the muscles. Having severely restricted my carb intake over the past 7 months, I was looking forward to the 3 days of loading.
Within half an hour of my first baked potato in over 7 months, I identified an unusual side effect. I have dispensed nearly 2 days worth of pee in less than one afternoon and for the connoisseurs out there it's visibly more healthy. I had to excuse myself twice during swim club last night to provide some relief. The flow shows no sign of abating either, with the situation repeating itself today.
A previously undiscovered phenomenon? Or perhaps my belt's just a notch too tight? Regardless, it's helped further the weight loss, if even temporarily and against expectation during these wind down days.
Current weight is 14 stones 5 pounds (201 pounds / 91.2 kg).
Landmark 5: That's 100 pounds of weight loss so far. Wouldn't it be nice if I could get my current weight below the 200 pound mark by Sunday.
Within half an hour of my first baked potato in over 7 months, I identified an unusual side effect. I have dispensed nearly 2 days worth of pee in less than one afternoon and for the connoisseurs out there it's visibly more healthy. I had to excuse myself twice during swim club last night to provide some relief. The flow shows no sign of abating either, with the situation repeating itself today.
A previously undiscovered phenomenon? Or perhaps my belt's just a notch too tight? Regardless, it's helped further the weight loss, if even temporarily and against expectation during these wind down days.
Current weight is 14 stones 5 pounds (201 pounds / 91.2 kg).
Landmark 5: That's 100 pounds of weight loss so far. Wouldn't it be nice if I could get my current weight below the 200 pound mark by Sunday.
Tuesday 27 May 2008
The final week
The final week's preparations leading up to a big sporting event has been scientifically refined over many years and this knowledge has been passed on to me. Eating plans, training plans, rest days, etc. Basically nothing too strenuous.
So I ran up 3 Munros with only 2 bananas in my backpack.
Beinn a'Ghlo to be precise, the collective name for a range of 3 Munros. It took 4 hours and 30 minutes to complete. What does that mean in the real world I hear you ask? My standard off road course 5k run time is now 27 minutes 15 seconds, a further improvement of nearly 20 seconds.
Current weight is 14 stones 7 pounds (203 pounds / 92.1 kg).
So I ran up 3 Munros with only 2 bananas in my backpack.
Beinn a'Ghlo to be precise, the collective name for a range of 3 Munros. It took 4 hours and 30 minutes to complete. What does that mean in the real world I hear you ask? My standard off road course 5k run time is now 27 minutes 15 seconds, a further improvement of nearly 20 seconds.
Current weight is 14 stones 7 pounds (203 pounds / 92.1 kg).
Friday 23 May 2008
Road cycling stinks
Not only the smell from the diesel fumes, but also the 25mph head wind and the majority of other road users who think bicycles are merely to be toyed with from inside their metal boxes. All of it stinks.
After completing my very first attempt at the proper cycle route, I failed to even come close to The Editor's time of around 45 minutes posted last year.
I can't envisage getting in to mainstream Triathlons due to the roadside pollution that would need to be endured during training.
I'm taking to the hills.
Current weight is 14 stones 9 pounds (205 pounds / 93.0 kg).
After completing my very first attempt at the proper cycle route, I failed to even come close to The Editor's time of around 45 minutes posted last year.
I can't envisage getting in to mainstream Triathlons due to the roadside pollution that would need to be endured during training.
I'm taking to the hills.
Current weight is 14 stones 9 pounds (205 pounds / 93.0 kg).
Tuesday 20 May 2008
Run training works
I wouldn't have thought it possible.
One run up a big hill last Sunday, and tonight I knocked 1 minute and 6 seconds off my personal best 5k time around my standard course. I knew in the first 100 metres that it was going to be significantly faster.
27 minutes and 34 seconds.
Which means that 26 minutes might be achievable on a flat course. I just have to find another big hill to run up this weekend. Apologies in advance to The Editor if that upsets your Italian holiday.
Current weight is still up a little, this time from spending most of Monday eating like a horse to refuel from Sunday's run. It'll be back down by the end of the week, though.
One run up a big hill last Sunday, and tonight I knocked 1 minute and 6 seconds off my personal best 5k time around my standard course. I knew in the first 100 metres that it was going to be significantly faster.
27 minutes and 34 seconds.
Which means that 26 minutes might be achievable on a flat course. I just have to find another big hill to run up this weekend. Apologies in advance to The Editor if that upsets your Italian holiday.
Current weight is still up a little, this time from spending most of Monday eating like a horse to refuel from Sunday's run. It'll be back down by the end of the week, though.
Monday 19 May 2008
Run training
I keep reading about how to improve my run time. The general advice is to do interval training and also do some hill running.
So I ran up a Munro (3000ft hill), slowing down only at the bits that were too steep to run up.
The average hill walker now thinks I'm totally nuts, but it's amazing for improving my aerobic fitness. Also, it's quicker than walking.
Current weight is up a little from drinking too much booze. It'll be back down in a day or two.
So I ran up a Munro (3000ft hill), slowing down only at the bits that were too steep to run up.
The average hill walker now thinks I'm totally nuts, but it's amazing for improving my aerobic fitness. Also, it's quicker than walking.
Current weight is up a little from drinking too much booze. It'll be back down in a day or two.
Friday 16 May 2008
The appearance of muscles
Frankly, I'm gob smacked. In a good way.
New muscles are appearing daily. On my arms, legs, stomach and back. Flappy skin is disappearing by the minute. Swim times are improving, run times are improving, cycle times are improving, hill walking is improving, breathing is improving. Overall well being is improving greatly.
I wonder what would happen if I applied the same training to my brain?
I have hit a moment of realisation, though. The feeling of continually improving my physical performance is great, but what happens when that levels out and the body reaches a peak? A long way to go yet, but how is the motivation upheld when that point is reached? Or does improving by 0.1 second then give the same joy as I get when I knock 20 seconds off my latest run time now?
The next milestone is fast approaching - breaking through the 200 pounds mark. Then I will have shed more than a third of my body weight.
Current weight is 14 stones 9 pounds (205 pounds / 93.0 kg).
New muscles are appearing daily. On my arms, legs, stomach and back. Flappy skin is disappearing by the minute. Swim times are improving, run times are improving, cycle times are improving, hill walking is improving, breathing is improving. Overall well being is improving greatly.
I wonder what would happen if I applied the same training to my brain?
I have hit a moment of realisation, though. The feeling of continually improving my physical performance is great, but what happens when that levels out and the body reaches a peak? A long way to go yet, but how is the motivation upheld when that point is reached? Or does improving by 0.1 second then give the same joy as I get when I knock 20 seconds off my latest run time now?
The next milestone is fast approaching - breaking through the 200 pounds mark. Then I will have shed more than a third of my body weight.
Current weight is 14 stones 9 pounds (205 pounds / 93.0 kg).
Wednesday 14 May 2008
The Maiden Voyage
The "on loan" 1950s racing bike has had a new seat post, a new saddle, newly lubed up bearings in the front wheel, a whole lot of gunk removed from the chain and some tinkering with the brakes and gears; £6.99 (eBay).
Using it to beat my initial mountain bike 20km cycle time by over 4 and a half minutes; priceless!
Technically, it was a hilly 20.8km course completed in 41 minutes 03 seconds, which equals a pro rata 39 minutes and 28 seconds over 20km. But a flat course should see the total time decrease slightly further, as will more practice.
Coupled with the new personal best run time of 28 minutes and 40 seconds over my usual hilly "off road" course and my improved swim time approaching 13 minutes, The Editor is becoming increasingly outwardly concerned. However, inwardly I suspect it is also having the positive side effect of enhancing motivation for his two least favourite component parts of the Triathlon.
However, if the same age and weight related handicapping used in the 2000m Concept 2 rowing challenge was carried over to "The Event", I wouldn't be in the running, so to speak.
Current weight is 15 stones exactly (210 pounds / 95.3 kg).
Using it to beat my initial mountain bike 20km cycle time by over 4 and a half minutes; priceless!
Technically, it was a hilly 20.8km course completed in 41 minutes 03 seconds, which equals a pro rata 39 minutes and 28 seconds over 20km. But a flat course should see the total time decrease slightly further, as will more practice.
Coupled with the new personal best run time of 28 minutes and 40 seconds over my usual hilly "off road" course and my improved swim time approaching 13 minutes, The Editor is becoming increasingly outwardly concerned. However, inwardly I suspect it is also having the positive side effect of enhancing motivation for his two least favourite component parts of the Triathlon.
However, if the same age and weight related handicapping used in the 2000m Concept 2 rowing challenge was carried over to "The Event", I wouldn't be in the running, so to speak.
Current weight is 15 stones exactly (210 pounds / 95.3 kg).
Sunday 11 May 2008
Thigh bursting weekend
My left foot doesn't hurt badly any more.
My thighs, however, are protesting loudly after completing my request for them to work overtime at the weekend. This will pass in a day or two, and I'll be left with "Super Hero" quads. It was definitely worth it, though, despite hardly seeing further than 200 metres all day.
To top it off, I was recalled to compete in the final of the 2000m rowing challenge today, less than 16 hours after yesterday's mammoth 9 hour ridge walk. I gave it everything I could muster and was shouting like a mad man during the final 500m push. But I won! By 0.2 of a second. Nobody remembers second place. For my troubles, I earned a free massage, which will come in very, very handy after the Triathlon.
Current weight is 15 stones and 3 pounds (212 pounds / 96.6 kg). Which is a slight increase, but relates to the 8 or 9 litres of water consumed yesterday.
My thighs, however, are protesting loudly after completing my request for them to work overtime at the weekend. This will pass in a day or two, and I'll be left with "Super Hero" quads. It was definitely worth it, though, despite hardly seeing further than 200 metres all day.
To top it off, I was recalled to compete in the final of the 2000m rowing challenge today, less than 16 hours after yesterday's mammoth 9 hour ridge walk. I gave it everything I could muster and was shouting like a mad man during the final 500m push. But I won! By 0.2 of a second. Nobody remembers second place. For my troubles, I earned a free massage, which will come in very, very handy after the Triathlon.
Current weight is 15 stones and 3 pounds (212 pounds / 96.6 kg). Which is a slight increase, but relates to the 8 or 9 litres of water consumed yesterday.
Thursday 8 May 2008
Sore foot
In my previous entry, I was very self congratulatory regarding completing the full Sprint Triathlon distance as a personal practice event.
I spoke a little too soon.
I now have a sore left foot.
My self diagnosis keeps shifting between a tiny fracture in a small otherwise unnoticed and useless bone, to deep tissue bruising. Not having any medical training means that I really don't have the foggiest what's going on, other than my run time is going to get slower due to lack of training. However, to combat The Editor's possible buoyed mood after reading this news, what with the current regime of squats , I have spent time off my feet this week reducing my swim time.
The new projected swim time is now dangerously close to 13 minutes flat. The Event time might vary considerably from this as new evidence emerged late yesterday afternoon regarding the haphazzard approach to the electronic timing station locations. Basically, your swim time includes getting out of the pool and getting to the transition point entrance, which could be some distance away.
Current weight is 15 stones and 2 pounds (212 pounds / 96.2 kg).
Interesting point of note: The average male has begun to notice my weight loss (after nearly 6 and a half stone), whereas the average female began to notice after only a few pounds.
I spoke a little too soon.
I now have a sore left foot.
My self diagnosis keeps shifting between a tiny fracture in a small otherwise unnoticed and useless bone, to deep tissue bruising. Not having any medical training means that I really don't have the foggiest what's going on, other than my run time is going to get slower due to lack of training. However, to combat The Editor's possible buoyed mood after reading this news, what with the current regime of squats , I have spent time off my feet this week reducing my swim time.
The new projected swim time is now dangerously close to 13 minutes flat. The Event time might vary considerably from this as new evidence emerged late yesterday afternoon regarding the haphazzard approach to the electronic timing station locations. Basically, your swim time includes getting out of the pool and getting to the transition point entrance, which could be some distance away.
Current weight is 15 stones and 2 pounds (212 pounds / 96.2 kg).
Interesting point of note: The average male has begun to notice my weight loss (after nearly 6 and a half stone), whereas the average female began to notice after only a few pounds.
Tuesday 6 May 2008
The art of nobbling
In retaliation for my suspected nobbling of The Editor's training, he secretly chose to make a pre-emtive sabotage stike many weeks ago. After trying all the available sizes of replacement seat post for the bicycle lent to me by The Editor, it is becoming clear that the correct size either no longer exists, or the bicycle frame was modified to ensure that no available seat post would be suitable.
I have the option of riding the triathlon without a seat, trying my hand at fabricating a collar for the seat post, or finding another bike from somewhere. Notably, I still haven't done any cycle training and "the event" is only about 3 weeks away.
On the plus side, I did complete a full event last night (swim, cycle (spinning) and run). The run was completed within 3 seconds of my personal best on that course, so it appears that the prior swimming and cycling has little or zero negative effect.
Current weight is 15 stones and 3 pounds (213 pounds / 96.6 kg).
I have the option of riding the triathlon without a seat, trying my hand at fabricating a collar for the seat post, or finding another bike from somewhere. Notably, I still haven't done any cycle training and "the event" is only about 3 weeks away.
On the plus side, I did complete a full event last night (swim, cycle (spinning) and run). The run was completed within 3 seconds of my personal best on that course, so it appears that the prior swimming and cycling has little or zero negative effect.
Current weight is 15 stones and 3 pounds (213 pounds / 96.6 kg).
Friday 2 May 2008
Circuits, or how to raise the pain threshold
My first proper participation in "Circuits" was two days ago. I still can't walk without deep muscular sensations not unlike pain. Certainly, I know my legs are still there because they object a little every time I move them. It was a tough class and uses nearly every major muscle in the body.
On the plus side, it helped tremendously with my swimming time during last night's swim club. I could knock another 60 to 80 seconds off my updated swim time if I went flat out, but of course I'd be ruined for any further sporting action immediately afterwards. The Editor, despite succumbing to recent intimidatory tactics, should not be concerned since there is now less than 4 weeks training to go, which doesn't really leave any scope for improving times or participating in many more Circuit sessions!
Current weight is 15 stones and 3 pounds (213 pounds / 96.6 kg).
On the plus side, it helped tremendously with my swimming time during last night's swim club. I could knock another 60 to 80 seconds off my updated swim time if I went flat out, but of course I'd be ruined for any further sporting action immediately afterwards. The Editor, despite succumbing to recent intimidatory tactics, should not be concerned since there is now less than 4 weeks training to go, which doesn't really leave any scope for improving times or participating in many more Circuit sessions!
Current weight is 15 stones and 3 pounds (213 pounds / 96.6 kg).
Sunday 27 April 2008
Not all 5ks are the same
I thought that I might speed up my 5k time a little by running on a continuous flat smooth surface, instead of the stoney, hilly track around the golf course. So I tried last year's triathlon route to gain some practical experience and a better indication of my run time.
27 minutes at 10 seconds.
Not all 5k runs are the same.
Current weight is 15 stones and 7 pounds (217 pounds / 98.5 kg).
27 minutes at 10 seconds.
Not all 5k runs are the same.
Current weight is 15 stones and 7 pounds (217 pounds / 98.5 kg).
Friday 25 April 2008
Run time
Not much to report after yesterday's PT session, other than we are concentrating on upper body weights. Kristy showed me two new exercises; the first was like training to be a Spiderman double (or a particularly drunken walk home from the pub) while the second was really like trying to pick a fight in a night club. Both require a physical demonstration as words are not enough. And on a training note, both are very good at targeting particular muscle groups.
Tonight's exertions were again rewarded with personal bests, of which there will be many in the forthcoming months until the weight loss slows and the real work begins.
My fifth 5k was 28 minutes 58 seconds.
(The fourth was completed on Tuesday after 40 minutes of Spinning and took 30 minutes 20 seconds.)
The 750m swim time has broken the target posted Triathlon entry time of 13 minutes and 50 seconds.
Personally, I'm giving myself a big pat on the back being able to produce these times even though my weight is still abundantly above "normal", so I celebrate with an entire pack of Salt and Vinegar Rice Pringles with Tzatziki dip. Food of the Gods.
Current weight is 15 stones and 7 pounds (217 pounds / 98.5 kg).
Tonight's exertions were again rewarded with personal bests, of which there will be many in the forthcoming months until the weight loss slows and the real work begins.
My fifth 5k was 28 minutes 58 seconds.
(The fourth was completed on Tuesday after 40 minutes of Spinning and took 30 minutes 20 seconds.)
The 750m swim time has broken the target posted Triathlon entry time of 13 minutes and 50 seconds.
Personally, I'm giving myself a big pat on the back being able to produce these times even though my weight is still abundantly above "normal", so I celebrate with an entire pack of Salt and Vinegar Rice Pringles with Tzatziki dip. Food of the Gods.
Current weight is 15 stones and 7 pounds (217 pounds / 98.5 kg).
Friday 18 April 2008
Landmark 4
This is a big one.
I've dropped from triple kg digits to only double. Psychologically, this is a big event and helps tremendously with the motivation to continue. I was despairing about the plateau, but Scarsdale kicked that to touch.
My BMI has also dropped into the 20s (29.8), which is down over 10 points since the weight loss began.
The running is also improving, but this is more due to the mental aspect as opposed to the physical.
The first 5k was 32 minutes flat.
The second 5k was 31 minutes 13 seconds.
The third 5k was 30 minutes 02 seconds.
Less than 6 weeks to go and I still haven't been on a bike!
Current weight is 15 stones and 10 pounds (220 pounds / 99.8 kg).
I've dropped from triple kg digits to only double. Psychologically, this is a big event and helps tremendously with the motivation to continue. I was despairing about the plateau, but Scarsdale kicked that to touch.
My BMI has also dropped into the 20s (29.8), which is down over 10 points since the weight loss began.
The running is also improving, but this is more due to the mental aspect as opposed to the physical.
The first 5k was 32 minutes flat.
The second 5k was 31 minutes 13 seconds.
The third 5k was 30 minutes 02 seconds.
Less than 6 weeks to go and I still haven't been on a bike!
Current weight is 15 stones and 10 pounds (220 pounds / 99.8 kg).
Tuesday 15 April 2008
A return to the Scarsdale
This is the longest plateau I've reached yet in my weight loss mission so far. I'm down a few pounds in the last day or two, but I don't feel that my weight has really reduced since before the 28th March.
The funny thing is that the stagnation began when I started running outside. Coincidence? Or body shock?
I shouldn't be discussing times here, due to the increasing competitive streak that's emerging within me, but it may serve to worry my arch nemesis before the big day.
My first proper outdoor 5k was just over a week ago. It took 32 minutes and was completed entirely without walking. That proved to me that I wasn't going to die. And it also highlighted that I need to run faster. Last weekend I did 6.5k in 40 minutes, but that contained about 5 minutes of walking at various stages to prevent myself from brining up an undigested lunch. The last 16 minutes of that run were the most successful, covering 3k without any stops. That gives a 5k pace of 26 minutes 40 seconds. I’ll see what I can do tomorrow's repeated 5k in.
Due to the long period of weight stability, I'm going to give the Scarsdale another go, and it'll hopefully last more than the previous attempt's 3 days.
The funny thing is that the stagnation began when I started running outside. Coincidence? Or body shock?
I shouldn't be discussing times here, due to the increasing competitive streak that's emerging within me, but it may serve to worry my arch nemesis before the big day.
My first proper outdoor 5k was just over a week ago. It took 32 minutes and was completed entirely without walking. That proved to me that I wasn't going to die. And it also highlighted that I need to run faster. Last weekend I did 6.5k in 40 minutes, but that contained about 5 minutes of walking at various stages to prevent myself from brining up an undigested lunch. The last 16 minutes of that run were the most successful, covering 3k without any stops. That gives a 5k pace of 26 minutes 40 seconds. I’ll see what I can do tomorrow's repeated 5k in.
Due to the long period of weight stability, I'm going to give the Scarsdale another go, and it'll hopefully last more than the previous attempt's 3 days.
Tuesday 8 April 2008
Nipples and Vaseline
Kristy and I have just been out for a run and finished stretching.
"What's the best thing for chaffed nipples?" I ask Kristy after she sees me looking downwards inside my top as we are walking to the reception to book another session.
"Vaseline" is her immediate reply.
I pause for a short time to think of something non-sexual to say. "Before of after?".
"Before of after what?" Her brain has obviously moved on from my question, and we've since arrived at the main reception desk. So I'm forced to repeat myself in front of the entire staff "Should I put Vaseline on my nipples before or after we go out?"
That's one way to stop everyone's conversations.
Current weight is 16 stones and 4 pounds (228 pounds / 103.5 kg).
"What's the best thing for chaffed nipples?" I ask Kristy after she sees me looking downwards inside my top as we are walking to the reception to book another session.
"Vaseline" is her immediate reply.
I pause for a short time to think of something non-sexual to say. "Before of after?".
"Before of after what?" Her brain has obviously moved on from my question, and we've since arrived at the main reception desk. So I'm forced to repeat myself in front of the entire staff "Should I put Vaseline on my nipples before or after we go out?"
That's one way to stop everyone's conversations.
Current weight is 16 stones and 4 pounds (228 pounds / 103.5 kg).
Monday 7 April 2008
Average weight
Since every single person I speak to expresses concern about my target weight of 11 and a half stones (161 pounds / 73 kg), I decided to have a look at "average" weights for western men.
The average weight of a UK male is 12 stones and 8 pounds (176 pounds / 80 kg). Pretty good news for me. Not nearly as far to go as I thought until I become "average".
The average weight of a USA male is 13 stones and 8 pounds (185 pounds / 86 kg). There is not data available that excludes the residents of Texas. But if I pretend I'm American for the purposes of weight loss, then I'm nearly there already!
What's most interesting is the USA female weight. The following comes from a Wikipedia article on Human Weight:
Over the ten year period (1991 to 2001), the average American woman's weight increased 11 pounds, while her height has remained about the same. Ten years ago, she weighed 152 pounds (69 kg / 10 st 12 lb) at a height of 5' 3.7" (162 cm). Now, it's 163 pounds (74 kg / 11 st 9 lb) and 5' 3.8" (162 cm).
If that increase is sustained up to 2008, then the average US lady will now be an incredible 170 pounds (77 kg / 12 st 2 lb) and she'll still be the same height.
When I reach my target weight, I'll be lighter than the average American Woman. I'll need to look to the East, I think.
Current weight is annoyingly still 16 stones and 6 pounds (230 pounds / 104.5 kg).
The average weight of a UK male is 12 stones and 8 pounds (176 pounds / 80 kg). Pretty good news for me. Not nearly as far to go as I thought until I become "average".
The average weight of a USA male is 13 stones and 8 pounds (185 pounds / 86 kg). There is not data available that excludes the residents of Texas. But if I pretend I'm American for the purposes of weight loss, then I'm nearly there already!
What's most interesting is the USA female weight. The following comes from a Wikipedia article on Human Weight:
Over the ten year period (1991 to 2001), the average American woman's weight increased 11 pounds, while her height has remained about the same. Ten years ago, she weighed 152 pounds (69 kg / 10 st 12 lb) at a height of 5' 3.7" (162 cm). Now, it's 163 pounds (74 kg / 11 st 9 lb) and 5' 3.8" (162 cm).
If that increase is sustained up to 2008, then the average US lady will now be an incredible 170 pounds (77 kg / 12 st 2 lb) and she'll still be the same height.
When I reach my target weight, I'll be lighter than the average American Woman. I'll need to look to the East, I think.
Current weight is annoyingly still 16 stones and 6 pounds (230 pounds / 104.5 kg).
Wednesday 2 April 2008
My alveoli are burning
I'd like to note some further unusual bodily activity that manifested during my initial introductions to running. I'm delighted to say the pains in my chest were not a precursor to an imminent heart attack. I'm far too fit for that (touch wood). It was my Alveoli trying to expand ever further for increased oxygen gathering that caused this sensation in the lung.
I write the above in past tense, because since dropping the speed down from 9.6 to 9.3 it's made the world of difference. I ran for 20 minutes tonight, with a 2 minute pause between 10 minute bursts, and everything felt great. Breathing was normal. Legs were normal. Everything was normal. In fact, I am becoming increasingly suspicious that the running could actually become enjoyable.
The above session was followed swiftly by an hour of swimming club, which again passed without any major demands placed on the lungs. I wonder what I might have to do to exert myself fully?
Current weight is still 16 stones and 6 pounds (230 pounds / 104.5 kg)
I write the above in past tense, because since dropping the speed down from 9.6 to 9.3 it's made the world of difference. I ran for 20 minutes tonight, with a 2 minute pause between 10 minute bursts, and everything felt great. Breathing was normal. Legs were normal. Everything was normal. In fact, I am becoming increasingly suspicious that the running could actually become enjoyable.
The above session was followed swiftly by an hour of swimming club, which again passed without any major demands placed on the lungs. I wonder what I might have to do to exert myself fully?
Current weight is still 16 stones and 6 pounds (230 pounds / 104.5 kg)
Tuesday 1 April 2008
Concept 2 makes me sick
This month's gym challenge is a timed 2km dash on the Concept 2 rowing machine. Sounds simple, but it's the most physically demanding 7 minutes of my life. Everything aches during and afterwards. It's the closest I've come to being physically sick without the prior enjoyment of 10 pints plus.
My first posted time without any rowing practice for months is 6 minutes and 57 seconds, which incidentally is 1 second slower than my previous best acheived during my last fitness burst in 2005 when I weighed in at over 18 and half stones. I reckon I can knock off a few seconds during the next go.
Current weight is not disclosed due to massive overdoses of beer at the weekend.
My first posted time without any rowing practice for months is 6 minutes and 57 seconds, which incidentally is 1 second slower than my previous best acheived during my last fitness burst in 2005 when I weighed in at over 18 and half stones. I reckon I can knock off a few seconds during the next go.
Current weight is not disclosed due to massive overdoses of beer at the weekend.
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